


When the Snow Falls

by Chicki



Category: The L Word (TV 2004)
Genre: Circa 2007, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24050149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicki/pseuds/Chicki
Summary: When relationships die, does love die with them?
Relationships: Dana Fairbanks/Alice Pieszecki, Tina Kennard/Bette Porter
Comments: 38
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have written over 40 L Word Fan Fictions... for some reason, this is one of the top 5 of my favorite short stories. I hope you enjoy and look forward to your feedback. As always, than you for taking the time to comment. ~ Chicki

WHEN THE SNOW FALLS  
By Chicki

CHAPTER 1

It was a piece of paper which showed its age, the penned words worn at each of the folds. It had been tucked in the large memory box, along with so many other small tokens which symbolized the days they walked side by side. Some days it felt like ages, while other days it had seemed like only yesterday. Either way, the blonde yearned to go back and intoxicate herself in those precious moments. Ten years…a decade. What a long time it was since she lost contact with the woman who she would finally admit, was the love of her life. Ten years of maturity, reason, distance, jaded relationships, and life itself. They had taken different roads in life, and though they shared mutual friends, each of those friends had become more and more quiet of speaking about the other to them. In a sense, they had lost touch with one another. Tina often wondered how Bette’s life was going, but there was just so much space between them now, space she knew she held some responsibility for. She had so many opportunities to hold onto her, not let her go to New York. Though the relationship with Jodi hadn’t lasted, Bette had planted herself firmly in that part of the country, and had made a life for herself there. In the last four years, she hadn’t even made a trip back to California.

She sat on the wood chair which was one of the many things that remained in the attic for years, and started to read the words that she had first set her eyes upon so long ago.

_My Dearest Tina,_

_I felt compelled to write you this note as I travel to yet another conference, this time by train. These business trips which force me from your side, makes me ache for you. When I see the beauty of the landscape and scenery of this place, it makes me wish even more, that you were here with me. The beauty of Denver is something you must experience, particularly when it snows. Oh, what we lack in terms of seasons like this Tee. The purity of the virgin snow as it falls, is something that should grace us each and every year. I’m not sure why, but when I see this, the snow falling, I cannot help but feel you near. Perhaps it reminds me of the weekend in Vermont, the time it snowed and we made love all weekend in front of the fireplace. I’m not sure either of us ever put a thread of clothing on our bodies. I’m confident, that wherever I may travel, when the snow falls, the warmth of you, and our love, will warm my body, soul, and spirit forever. Always… when the snow falls._

_All my love,  
Bette _

Tina felt the tear escape from the corner of her eye as it ran down her cheek. She folded the piece of paper and held it in her hand, while her other wiped the wet tears from her face. She missed this woman, very much. She made decisions many years ago, that even now, she was feeling the wrath of. She often wondered if she had not lost the baby, if she and Bette would have remained together. She was sure that the affair with Candace was a reaction to a time when she was most vulnerable. It was Bette’s escape. She could see so much more clear these days, than back then. She wished she would have been able to feel it then. Perhaps Bette would have been able to follow her heart instead of her life. 

NEW YORK

Bette had just made a cup of tea and settled on the sofa with a new book she picked up earlier in the day, when her cell phone rang. She reached over and smiled at the screen before she flipped it open.

“Hello Alice.”

“Sometimes I hate caller I.D., you can’t surprise people anymore.”

“True, but look at the bright side.”

”What’s that?”

”I saw it was you and I still answered it.”

”Har Har…funny. I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks. What’s been going on?”

Bette closed her book, and placed it beside her. “Not too much really. Lot’s of work. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good.”

“And Dana?”

“She’s doing well too.”

A silence developed, which was unusual considering it was Alice on the other end. “So…what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Alice replied quickly.

“Nothing? You called because of nothing?”

“Well…I had an idea, and I wasn’t sure what you thought of it. If you don’t think it’s a good idea, I would understand…though I personally think it’s a pretty good one. I don’t know…I guess I just thought about it, and figured what a great idea. Then the more I thought, the more I was thinking that it may not be….” Alice was nudged by Dana to get to the point, at the same time Bette vocalized the same.

“Cut to the chase Al,” Bette requested.

“Sorry. It’s just that its been so long since we’ve seen you. The last four holidays you had been traveling for business, and weren’t available to come home.”

“That’s true.”

“I ran into Kit at the market. She said that she had been in touch with you about coming home for the holidays, but that you were leaning more towards her coming out to see you.”

“Yes, we actually did talk a few days ago about Christmas, and what we had on our mind for the holiday. I feel it would be nicer for her to come here, as the beauty of Central Park and the store fronts during the holidays are just so beautiful. Should it snow, that only adds to the festiveness. I guess I have gotten rather accustomed to experiencing the holiday in the winter time. Although it doesn’t always snow on Christmas, there usually is some snow on the ground, or if we’re real lucky a few stray flakes in the air.”

“Damn, you really have become a transplant huh?”

Bette laughed. “I guess I have.”

Alice wasn’t about to settle. “It’s just…honestly Bette, why not give it some consideration won’t you? It would be great to get all of us together again. Its just been so long since you have come home.”

“Alice, New York is my home.”

The words were hard to hear. Alice loved her friends, and though she was good about putting together small gatherings where they could mingle, it wasn’t the same without Bette. “Would you please just think about it?”

Bette sighed. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you.”

After a few more minutes of small talk, their conversation came to an end, and Bette found herself thinking of Alice’s offer. She shook her head, as if to shake it off as she picked her book back up. She opened to the first page, and as much as she tried to read and actually retain it, she couldn’t. All she could think of, was taking a trip back home. Although Alice didn’t mention Tina, she was certain Tina would be there, and whomever it was she was now involved with. Christmas was only a week away, and if she was going to take the trip, she would have to start preparing to do so. Christmas was a Tuesday this year, and should she travel, she would likely do so on the Saturday before, then leave LA for home on Wednesday. Her thoughts were bouncing around in her head, to go or not to go.

#

“Okay, so she didn’t say yes right out, but we knew that right?” Dana was eager to learn what Alice felt in terms of Bette’s tone.

“I know.”

“So what do you think? Was she leaning one way or the other?”

“I can’t really say. I don’t think so.”

Dana bent her legs and wrapped her arms around them. “Did she mention Tina?” 

“No, not at all. I wasn’t sure what I should say. I wanted to just reassure her and say something like ‘hey, I know a lot of time has passed where you and Tina kind of lost touch with one another, but you have to start again somewhere’ ya know what I mean?” Alice looked to Dana for confirmation.

“Yeah. See I think that is the problem. So much time has gone by, without any contact, and now I’m sure it is a little awkward for them…not to mention the fact they are still in love with each other.”

Alice looked over at Dana. “Do you really think so?”

“Oh Alice, come on. You can’t honestly think they aren’t. Neither one has been seriously involved with anyone since then.”

“No Dane, I’m serious. I mean, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind when they were together. But afterwards, when Tina was with Helena, then Henry, and everyone after…I don’t know. So much pain occurred between them later, that I don’t see how it’s possible. How do you go this long without talking, if that really was the love of your life? If that was the case, why the hell didn’t they fight for each other?”

Dana was silent as she thought about the relationship Bette and Tina had shared at one time, and balanced that with the logic that Alice offered. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. I just always felt that they both let a lot of stubbornness in, and it ended up drowning them. It turned spiteful and ugly. By the time things settled down and started to be civil, walls went up and they forced themselves towards something…anything that was in their reach and available to them. I doubt Bette was ever in love with Jodi.”

“ She moved to New York. I was shocked when she did that, it had to mean something.”

“I know Al, but I still think Bette just wanted to be in a relationship. Maybe in her head, she figured if she was in a relationship, she would be settled again, and not have to be reminded of the mistake she made which had cost her relationship with Tina. I would imagine playing the field, would have been a constant reminder of her fuckup.”

“She could have had anyone,” Alice admitted. 

“No doubt. But the one woman she still wanted, hadn’t returned those feelings. I mean, there’s no doubt she tried to redeem herself. I was actually surprised how much Bette tried, considering as you said, she could have moved forward and had anyone. Tina just wasn’t ready to go back to a relationship with her. In fact, she ended up pushing herself so far away from her when she went to Henry. I remember first thinking, that she did it so that she could be the “furthest” from Bette on so many levels, by being with a man. Like it was her way of making sure she wouldn’t return back to Bette.”

Alice remembered back, and shook her head. “I know. I think that rocked Bette’s world when Tee was with Henry.”

“I’m sure it did. I’m sure that Jodi going to New York had allowed Bette that option to just escape from having to see Tina move on. I mean, think about how hard that had to be on her. She was still so much in love with her, and to watch her move on with her life, right under her nose, and in a way which made her extremely removed from her. I couldn’t do it.”

Alice took hold of Dana’s hand. “You don’t have to worry about that.” She brought Dana’s hand to her mouth and kissed it. “We were so lucky to have found our way back to one another, and without much damage occurring in between.”

Dana laughed. “Yeah, not much at all. Just having our relationship smeared on a radio show, or the time you nearly killed me on the highway. Oh, and we must not forget the cardboard cut out that you made love to every night in bed, though you must have had awful cardboard burns.”

Alice pushed Dana’s shoulder. “You smart ass. I didn’t take that thing to bed. I had it standing BY my bed, thank you.”

“Uh huh.”

Alice rolled her eyes at Dana before flipping her phone open.

“Who are you going to call now?”

“Shane. I’m going to tell her that I planted the seed, and now we need to see if it takes or not.”

“Oh brother.”

#

Tina had turned the water off, and dropped her robe to the floor. The candles that surrounded her oversized tub, was the only thing illuminating the bathroom. She stepped inside of the tub, and eased her body down into the water, relishing the warmth that cascaded upon her skin. The rising steam was visible proof of how comforting the bathwater was. She leaned her head back against the edge of the tub, and allowed her breaths to begin a gentle and steady rhythm as she relaxed.

She rested her hands on her abdomen, and sat still, letting the classical music permeate the air. Her thoughts once again returned to the brunette. It wasn’t anything new, for this past year there were more times than she could count, that Bette filled her thoughts. Perhaps it was the fact that she had pretty much given up on dating, and the absence of that constant interaction with another woman, allowed her to reminisce more. She had recently started to see Julie, a woman employed at her bank. She was a nice woman, and she enjoyed the dates they went on, but there was so much more missing from her life. She didn’t want to sleep alone each night anymore. She was tired of being the first to open the newspaper in the morning, and missed handing over certain sections to someone else. Yes, the past year was a year which had imposed quite a bit of reflection, and Tina wasn’t feeling very settled where her life was. Her thoughts were interrupted by her cell phone ringing. 

“Shit.” Tina looked towards her bedroom, ready to make a quick exit from the tub, when she realized that the thoughts of Bette, was just that…thoughts. Whoever it was that was calling could go to voicemail, for the one person she would have dove for that phone to hear on the other end, wouldn’t be calling. She rested her head back against the edge of the tub, and lost herself in the past.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Bette turned off the light, and as the shadows of the busy city below filled her Manhattan coop, thoughts of going back west for the holidays started to flood her head. She tried to remember how it was, that she and Tina lost touch so easily. Both could be extremely stubborn, though Tina never seemed to have that trait early on in their relationship. She felt that maybe she was responsible for pulling that out of her when she had betrayed her trust. Bette often thought of that time in her life, when she went outside of her relationship. There were so many times that temptation filled her life, but she was faithful and committed more than most she knew. Over the years, she tried to understand it all herself, and yet no matter how much she attempted to analyze what brought that period in her life about, she couldn’t ever come to a conclusion that made any sense. She reflected on the Senator, and how easy it would have been to have sex that night, at a time when she and Tina were so distant, and so much further apart than they had ever been. How much she reached out to Tina to give her something, some bit of hope for them, but it never came. It wasn’t there. Bette had tried hard to redeem herself following the affair, but the truth was, the damage that their relationship sustained following such a vile act, would become a statistic no different than many others who were unable to survive such injury. She bore a heavy heart, because there was no one to blame but herself. She made that decision, and though she could analyze it to death, it would never change what was. She had lost the love of her life. Tina hadn’t been in touch in such a long time, and it had become such a strange thing, but the less time she asked about Tina, the less time her friends and Kit mentioned her. Clearly she moved on.

**NEXT DAY**

Bette stopped at Starbucks and grabbed a cup of Christmas blend to bring to work. It was only two days until the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Grand Re-Opening, and she was unusually relaxed and prepared for it. Her morning agenda included a meeting with Peggy Peabody, which would be more social than anything else, and then a board of director’s meeting.

When she pulled into the space, Alison’s car was already there. She was a young girl, fresh out of High School, and had been given a job as the receptionist. The emphasis was on ‘given’, as it wasn’t based on experience or merit in the least. Alison was Jack’s daughter, the chairman of the board. He had explained to Bette, how she had lost her way following her break up with the boy she had dated through high school. He wanted to keep her mind occupied. The problem was, Alison used company time to do most all of her personal things. Something which Bette frowned upon.

“Morning Alison.”

Alison didn’t look up from the text message that she was typing on her cell phone. “Morning Ms. Porter.”

“Um…I hate to interrupt you, but are there any messages besides the one there on your phone?”

“Uhhhh…yeah. Give me just…one…minute.” Alison smiled as she sent her text along.

Bette exhaled a long sigh and tapped the top of the counter. “Alison…today please.”

When Alison handed her messages to Bette, it was then that Bette noticed her messenger window popped up. “Did you pick up the cards we had printed for the opening?”

Alison looked confused. “What?”

“The cards. Yesterday I asked that you make sure you pick the cards up on your way home from work yesterday.”

“Oh crap. I forgot. I can run out at lunch and get them.”

Bette wasn’t pleased in the least. “Alison, you have a 30 minute lunch. I don’t expect that because you include an errand for work that it become 2 hours and 30 minutes. Are we clear?”

“Sure.”

“And do me a favor please. Select your words carefully. This isn’t the high school gym.”

Bette’s last nerve was wracked. She knew she had to talk to Jack soon, as it just didn’t seem to be working out. This young girl unfortunately lacked the maturity that the position required.

#

Tina had finished the final edit of the manuscript she had been working on, and was excited by the thought of getting it to the publisher a little earlier than expected. She was filled with just as much enthusiasm about submitting her second book as she was her first. The sales of her first book allowed her the chance to become a full time writer, and work from home. She often thought what a perfect arrangement it would be if she had wanted to start a family, for her life would easily accommodate a child and spouse now. It was strange how sometimes life just had a way of not always fitting together like that perfect puzzle. Once again, some regrets started to fill her, but it didn’t last long for a knock at the door interrupted such regressive thoughts.

She placed her laptop on the coffee table and went to the front door. Upon opening it, she was greeted by a familiar face. “Alice, what brings you by?”

“Hi Tee.” Alice and Tina both hugged. “I was in the area and thought I would stop by.”

“Wonderful. Come in.”

Alice walked past Tina into the house. “Hey, I like that mirror,” Alice said as she admired the mirror which hung on the wall that faced the front door. 

“I’ve had that awhile.”

“No suh.”

“Yes. I did. I had it in the den. You don’t remember?”

“It has been awhile Tina. I guess we all just get so caught up in our lives.”

“Isn’t that the truth? We do have to do a better job at keeping in touch. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Sure. What do you have?”

Alice followed Tina into the kitchen. “I have some Diet Mountain Dew, Diet Coke, Ice Tea…”

“I’ll have some Ice Tea.”

“Good, I’ll join you.”

Alice sat down on one of the high back chairs at the island. “You’ve become a true Martha Stewart. Look at this place.” Alice admired the warm colors that Tina used to decorate the kitchen. The curtain tops, ceramic tile, and even the appliances all complimented each other.

“Well, I guess I have become somewhat of a domestic goddess now that I work from home.”

Alice stared at Tina. She wondered just what she and Bette would do when they first saw one another again. The few times Bette came back to LA for business or a weekend visit, they just never seemed to be able to meet and catch up. In recent years, it seemed both women just slipped into some comfort zone of not being in touch with the other. “You must get lonely sometimes, don’t you Tee?”

Tina forced a smile. “No…gosh I keep so busy Al. I’m good.”

Alice knew that Tina was doing her best to protect her heart and hide her feelings. She decided for once, she wouldn’t push. “So, I decided that enough was enough.”

“What do you mean?” Tina handed Alice a glass of Ice Tea, and stood across from her. “You selling your car?”

“No, I like the PT cruiser.”

“I liked that Cooper you had a while back.”

“Yeah that was cool. I liked Bette’s Saab so much better.”

It had been so long since one of the girls mentioned Bette. Tina wasn’t prepared for it in the least, and it was so strange that Alice would drop the “B” word now, following such an emotional day the day before when she was very much on her mind. 

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have…” Alice stopped. “No…I’m not sorry. What do I have to be sorry for?”

Tina seemed a little stunned. “Pardon?”

“Geez Tee, it just is so freaking weird. When Bette went to New York ten years ago, it wasn’t like you both had words. You separated as friends.”

“True.” Tina sipped her drink.

“Then why on earth did things end up where they are today?”

Tina hesitated. It was complex, and even that which she did know, didn’t seem to make that much sense. “I don’t know. I suppose we both gave the other some space to be with the people we were with at the time.”

“Maybe.” Alice was surprised that Tina was so willing to talk about Bette. She felt it was a good sign. “But you didn’t stay with Kate very long, and Bette had only stayed with Jodi for about a year. What the hell have you both been doing for the past nine years?”

“Alice, things just changed. I guess maybe it took that first year of not communicating much with Bette, and as a result, we both just eased into our lives. When Kate and I broke up, Bette was still involved with Jodi. I didn’t want to reach out just because I became available. I remember I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable. There was always a tendency for Bette and I to draw towards one another like magnets. I didn’t want to interrupt her life.”

“That magnet thing…that’s not something you can just ignore Tina.”

“Well we did, and as a result, we just lived our lives. Last I had heard from Kit, she was dating someone anyway.”

“I don’t know about that. We didn’t talk about that.”

Tina raised a brow. She felt her heart flutter a bit. “You recently spoke to Bette?”


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

It was kind of funny. Alice had gone there to tell Tina just that…that she talked to Bette and invited her back for the holidays. However, the passion in Tina’s question had caught Alice a little off guard, and she realized she was ready to deny doing so. “Uh…sure.”

Tina didn’t want to sound too excited or curious, but the truth was she was both. “How is she?”

“She seemed okay. I had called her, to ask her the same thing I am going to ask you…”

Tina cut Alice off. “Oh no you don’t. Please tell me you are not trying to play matchmaker.”

“No not at all. It’s just that is has been so long since Bette’s been back for a visit. I bumped into Kit the other day at the market. She told me that Bette had invited her to her place for Christmas, which meant that Bette was not traveling, nor did she have other plans.”

“So.”

“Soooooo…that means that Bette would be available to come here, and we could all celebrate together.”

Tina felt her face flush as a sudden surge of adrenalin filled her body. That chemical had seemed to just explode at the words ‘Bette would be available to come here.’ 

“Tee? What do you think?”

“I…I…gosh I don’t know. Its…” Tina was tripping over her words. Her nerves were clearly visible. “I’m sorry, I need to sit.”

Alice smiled. This certainly was not the reaction any of the other girls had when they heard Bette might be coming back for the holidays. Obviously, what was happening before her, was confirmation of that unique connection which they both shared and was obviously still quite alive…at least for Tina. “Are you okay?”

“Yes…yes, I…I’m fine. What did she say? Did she say if she was coming?”

“She said she would give it some thought.” Alice sipped the last bit of her Ice Tea. “I should probably go. I just wanted you to know. I’m sure you will want to join us.”

Tina wasn’t prepared to shut the conversation down. Now that she knew Alice had made contact with Bette, she wanted to hear all she could about their discussion. “Wait, you can’t just drop this and run. What else did she say? How has she been? Did it sound like she was honestly going to consider coming out here?”

“Tina, one question at a time.”

“Okay, did it sound like she was coming here?”

“I’m not sure. I think she was going to give it some thought.”

“But you couldn’t tell at all, which way she was leaning?”

“No. Not really.”

“Well how has she been?”

“She was preparing for some grand re-opening of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.”

“Wow. That must have her pretty cranked up.”

“I don’t know, she was rather relaxed. Which I know, sounds completely out of character for the Alpha one.”

Alice and Tina both laughed, then Tina’s expression turned a little more serious. “Perhaps she has someone keeping her relaxed. Being content in one’s life usually has an affect like that.”

“If you are asking me if I think she is dating someone, I don’t know. I don’t think so though.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, when I asked about coming out here for the holiday, she never said she had to talk to someone about it. She never asked if she could bring someone. As a matter of fact, when she spoke of her plan to have Kit over there, she made it sound like it would just be them exclusively.”

“That doesn’t mean that she isn’t involved. Maybe her partner is traveling, or out of town.”

“I don’t know. Who knows…I’m not playing matchmaker so I guess the question never came up.” Alice winked at Tina before grabbing her jacket and heading towards the front door. When she looked back, Tina had quite the little smile on her face.

“Thank you for stopping by.”

“You’re welcome.”

Tina couldn’t see the smirk on Alice’s face as she made her way to the car.

#

Bette looked at her watch. It wasn’t usual for Peggy to be late. She walked out of her office and to the receptionist desk where she was hoping to find Alison. Instead, she found an empty chair, with a post it note stuck to the computer monitor indicating she had to run down to the cell phone store to pay her bill.

“Of course, why on earth would I think you would actually be here doing what you are paid to do.” 

“Is it often you talk to yourself Bette?” 

Bette turned around and looked at the woman who held that familiar tone. “I was just going to ask the receptionist, who happens to be missing once again, if you had called. It’s not usual to find you late for an appointment.”

Peggy smiled. “Dear, when you get my age, you just want to be able to arrive.”

“Surely you aren’t complaining about age.” Bette turned for her office. “Let me grab my jacket and forward my office phone to my cell. Obviously I cannot depend on our young receptionist.”

“Fire her,” Peggy said in her typical brassy style.

“It’s not that easy,” Bette said before retrieving her jacket and heading to a café not far from her work.

#

“So, you seem unusually relaxed right now. I wouldn’t have expected that with the re-opening on the horizon, you would be pretty stressed about now.”

Bette sipped her cappuccino. “Ironically enough, I’m more stressed about the thought of going home for Christmas.”

“Home for Christmas? Why on earth would you feel stressed about that?”

“Everyone wants to get together. I haven’t been back there very much in recent years. When I did go, it was for business and I didn’t really hang out with the girls very much.”

“Why is that?” Peggy questioned.

Bette put her hand through her hair. “I guess I just find it easier to disregard the past.”

“It can definitely be a place that is best not visited. Why do you feel that way though? You were always pretty close to your friends.”

“I’m still close, but at a distance…if that makes any sense.”

Peggy studied Bette’s face. She had been in the company of Bette and Tina together many times, and saw a connection that was extremely deep and unique. She was there for Bette on many levels after the affair with Candace, and the demise of their relationship. She watched as Bette took the journey to New York to be with Jodie, and was the only person who had enough guts to share her thoughts openly that she didn’t feel things were going to turn out as Bette had hoped for. “You still love her don’t you?”

“Who?”

“Oh come on, it’s me. Let’s cut through all the layers of bullshit. You still are in love with Tina.”

Bette frowned. Most people she could argue such an accusation and win. This was Peggy, and the idea of doing so was slim. “Its been ten years Peggy. Things change. Feelings don’t remain the same…it’s impossible.”

“Nice effort, but I’m not sold on that.”

“If Tina and I wanted to be together we would have done so a hell of a lot sooner than now. She’s seeing someone anyway.”

Peggy smirked.

“What?”

“Bette, you are so damn obvious. Why on earth would you even know that if you didn’t still care?”

Bette knew Peggy wasn’t one she could fool, so she pretty much decided not to. “Of course I still care. I’m not a hypocrite. I don’t tell someone I love them and then not still have some feelings for them. It’s not me.”

“I recognize that. For as long as I have known you Bette, you are a woman who is passionate about what she loves, no matter what form that is in.” Peggy motioned for a refill. “Do you think Tina offered those words but lost the feelings which back them up?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t spoken in a while. She isn’t someone who does so. She doesn’t spew words carelessly like that.”

“Then, I think when you go home for the holidays, you need to take a good look at yourself and her, and think about some second chances. They do exist you know.”

“You have no idea how much I wanted that to be the case, before I had found Jodi. I tried so fucking hard to redeem myself, to make things right with her.” Bette looked away. “The affair was too much. I think she wanted to find forgiveness…but it was a lot of damage.”

Peggy nodded. “It was. However, I think if she is the one you were meant to be with, then it’s no wonder you haven’t really found anyone to fill those shoes.”

Bette looked to Peggy, she stared at her for even more answers. “Do you think that is the reason why? Really?”

“Maybe. I think sometimes we force ourselves in a certain direction, hoping we can come close to what we had. You end up making yourself believe that what you have in front of you, is enough. Like when you were with Jodi, and Kristen.”

“Kristen wasn’t going to be long term. She was just…”

“A filler?”

Bette showed her discomfort. “Oh come on, that sounds harsh.”

“It’s true isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t define it like that.”

“She was head over heals for you. She would have moved heaven and earth for you. Yet…you couldn’t really commit your heart completely could you?”

The more Peggy and Bette talked, the more Bette realized that Peggy’s knowledge and wisdom was right on target. Peggy was a logical woman, a realist. She spoke bluntly, and she spoke boldly. What she was saying had a lot of value, and Bette didn’t usually disregard much when it came from this woman.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

**LATER THAT EVENING**

Tina was engrossed in the latest novel by her favorite lesbian author when she heard a knock at the door. She rested her book on the sofa and peered out the peephole, for she wasn’t expecting anyone. She was surprised to see Julie, which caused her to panic for a moment, thinking she had forgotten they had a date.

“Hey,” Tina said trying to be casual.

“Hey sweetheart. I was in the area and had this craving for Chinese. It’s just not one of those things you want to eat alone.”

Tina smiled. “Sure…and how did you know I would be home?”

Julie laughed. “Come on, I know your schedule better than you sometimes.” Julie walked past Tina and into the house. She placed the bag of food on the kitchen table then turned to face Tina. Her eyes scanned the blondes robe from top to bottom, then back up to the top. Without planning to, Tina’s hands closed the top part even more. Julie stepped forward. “Why the sudden modesty?”

Tina looked down at her hand which was clutching the top part of her robe. She released it, and it fell open, showcasing her lovely cleavage. “A reaction I guess.”

Julie leaned in and kissed Tina on the lips. The kiss wasn’t returned with much enthusiasm. “You okay?” 

“Sure,” Tina said before walking over to the bag and unpacking the takeout. Julie just watched her with a level of uncertainty. 

“Okay…then…are ‘we’ okay?”

Tina brought a few plates to the table. “Sure.”

Julie placed her hand on Tina’s wrist as she opened the silverware drawer. “Tina…that doesn’t sound very convincing. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“I would like to think I know you better than that. Dinner can wait. Why don’t we talk?” Julie took hold of Tina’s hand. “Come on, let’s sit on the sofa.”

Tina didn’t want to talk. How could she begin to explain that she was having a sentimental time of things, after reading an old love note from Bette? It would prompt so many questions. However, she found herself well on her way to the sofa with Julie leading them.

They both took a seat; Julie facing Tina and displaying an expression which told she wanted her to begin sharing. Tina wasn’t prepared to explain a thing about Bette. The feelings that resurfaced were more sentiment than anything, and though Julie was no Bette, things were still good between them. “I’m sorry. I guess with the holiday’s coming I am feeling a little more emotional.”

Julie took Tina’s hand in hers. “I understand that. The holiday’s can bring about a lot of mixed feelings. I know I end up thinking about my grandmother quite a bit. She was one of my biggest supporters in everything I ever did while I was growing up.”

Tina could see Julie tearing up. “I’m sorry. I know she was an important woman in your life.”

The conversation they were sharing was interrupted by Tina’s house phone ringing.

“Do you need to get that?” Julie asked.

“No, it’s fine. The answering machine can get it.”

As Julie began, she stopped when Tina’s voice had come on the machine.

“Hey you’ve reached Tina, leave me a message and I’ll call you back soon.” 

*BEEP*

“Tee, where are you? Guess you’re out. Anyway I have great news. Bette is coming home for the holidays. I told you she would come home! Good times over to Kit’s. Call me.”

Julie’s brows raised. She looked down at Tina’s hand which was holding hers. An awkward silence grew between them. Julie ended up being the first to speak. “Is that what the problem is between us?”

“I didn’t say there was a problem.”

Julie pulled her hand from Tina’s. “Uh huh. Bette…I should have known.”

“What does that mean?”

“Tina, we have been dating for a while now. I’ve come to learn quite a bit about that particular woman from your past.”

“How is that? I don’t think I ever even spoke of her…really.”

“Sometimes things do not have to be spoken. I’ve learned that some pieces of art on these walls were things from your former relationship.”

“That does not mean a thing. Bette gave me those paintings for my birthday. I happen to like them.”

“That is just the start…should I continue?”

“I don’t want to get into this with you Julie. Bette and I broke up ten years ago. How could you possibly feel threatened?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Alice was fairly drunk the night of your house party a few weeks ago. She had pretty loose lips. I knew that Bette had been something special, but when she was talking…well it really told the story of just how close.”

“Julie, am I with Bette?”

“No. You aren’t.”

“If I wanted to be with Bette, don’t you think I would have made some form of an effort?

Julie remained silent.

“You cannot let the things that Alice was flapping her mouth about get between us. It was a very long time ago. I haven’t even been in contact with Bette for a while now. I’m sure she is probably dating someone, or already married for all I know.”

“I’m sure you would have gotten some news about that one.”

Tina placed her hand around the back of Julie’s neck. “That is my past. You are my present.” Tina gently persuaded Julie towards her. She pushed her lips against Julie’s, receiving no response. She pulled back. “Are you going to punish me now?”

Julie stood from the sofa. “I’m sorry. I’ve been hurt quite a few times in my life Tina. I like you. I…I have ‘really’ liked you, and I guess until I know for sure that this is what you want, I just can’t let my heart get broken by someone else again.”

Tina looked up at Julie. “What does that mean exactly?”

“It means, I think we should take a break…at least until after Christmas.”

“Is that wise?”

“I’m not sure. It’s not the holiday I had planned, but I think it’s something that is best for both of us.”

“If you are making a decision for both of us, don’t you think I should have some say in it?”

“Normally I think you know that I would. However, I’m not quite sure that you are capable of admitting just how you feel.” Julie walked from the living room to the kitchen where she grabbed her jacket, then walked out the front door without saying a word.

“What the fuck just happened?” Tina said aloud.

**CHRISTMAS EVE**

“What time is her flight coming in?” Alice asked, while she and Dana helped Kit cut up some veggies.

“She said around 3pm.” 

“Do you have the flight number? We could track it.”

Dana arched a brow at Al. “Let’s not obsess shall we?”

“I just cannot wait for them to see one another again. Its been so long.”

Shane brought the tray of cheese and crackers to the table. “Is Tina still seeing Julie?”

“I think so.” Alice took a piece of celery and started to nibble on it. “I didn’t come out and ask her. They seemed pretty chummy at her house party, so I think they might be.”

“Do you think it’s real serious?” Kit asked.

“Don’t know.”

#

Tina took one last look at herself in the mirror. She had remained pretty fit over the ten years. Working from home had its privileges, as it allowed a generous amount of personal time to hit the gym. There were a couple of minor lines that had grown from the corners of her eyes, but they only added to her beauty. 

“God why the hell am I so nervous?” Tina shook her hands, as if they were wet. It was a nervous reaction that didn’t happen too often, which she was grateful for. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You are fine. It’s not like this is some date or anything,” she said aloud.

She looked back at the mirror, happy with how her black skirt accentuated her firm buttocks. Her red v-neck sweater allowed just enough cleavage to add to her appetizing figure. She hadn’t planned on anything beyond just wanting to look really nice the first time that Bette laid eyes on her again. Did she want to attract Bette? Was she hoping to make her want her? There were no answers to any of it. She was still kind of dating Julie, and the question remained whether Bette was seeing someone as well. It was Christmas Eve, and only a very short time from Tina finding some of her answers. She grabbed her purse and headed out to her car. She checked her cell phone first, then started on her way to Kit’s house.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

“Girl you get those fingers out of that frosting!” Kit grabbed the tray with the chocolate cake and placed it on the counter, leaving Alice frowning.

“It’s only us, who would have noticed or cared?”

“I would have, that’s who.”

Shane opened a Corona and leaned against the counter. “So Dane, how’s the job?”

“It’s good. I have a whole new respect for Sport’s Management let me tell you.”

“I bet.”

“It pays really well, and even though there is some occasional travel involved, I think it’s kind of nice for Alice and I to have that space too.”

Shane smiled. “Space can be good. I like it that way myself.”

“Well not ‘that’ much space,” Dana joked. “Just enough that when I come back, we just have a great time reconnecting.” Dana tried hard to be a little conservative. Shane on the other hand wasn’t going to let that one slide.

“Ahhh, so the sex is pretty spectacular when you return huh?”

Alice caught part of that remark. “Uh excuse me, but the sex is always spectacular,” she said as she slipped her arms around Dana’s waist. “Isn’t that right babe?”

“Of course.”

“Speaking of sex anyway, where is Tina?”

“Why on earth does sex make you think of Tina?” Dana questioned.

“I guess I’m just thinking of how hot those two women are. God, you guys have to remember how crazy it was whenever they walked into a room. They sucked the air right out, they were always so much in love.” Shane stared at the foam that was slowly sliding down the inside of her beer bottle. “I always thought they would make it.”

“Shane, I don’t think there was a person alive who had hoped that more than I.” Kit joined in. “I know my sister well enough to know that there was something there which she would never be able to duplicate ever again.”

#

When the taxi pulled into the driveway, Bette noticed a few extra cars. She wondered which one, if any belonged to Tina. When she called Kit to tell her she would come home for Christmas, she never probed to find out where Tina was in her life. It was strange how the conversation she had with Peggy, prompted her to do quite a bit of thinking about her former love. The taxi driver opened the trunk and handed her suitcase to her.

“Merry Christmas,” he said.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Bette handed him a twenty dollar bill for his tip.

“Thank you. Here’s our business card. Call us if you need a ride back to the airport.”

“I will.”

Bette took hold of her suitcase and headed towards the house as the driver reversed out of the driveway. Once she reached the front door, she took a deep breath as she placed her finger on the door bell. “This is it Porter. Just breathe…a decade isn’t that long right?” She whispered to herself just before pressing the button in.

#

“Which one is it do you think?” Alice asked at the sound of the doorbell. “The blonde or the brunette?”

Shane laughed. “We’ll know in a few minutes.”

“Hey baby girl! Merry Christmas.” Kit’s voice carried into the living room.

Dana smiled. “Guess it’s the brunette.”

Kit released the solid hug she had on her sister. “You can leave the suitcase right there for now. Let me look at you.” Kit scanned Bette from head to toe. “You look wonderful. A little too skinny maybe, but other than that you look great.”

“I am far from being too skinny Kit,” Bette said straightening her top. 

“That color looks great on you.”

“Thanks, I didn’t think cranberry would have accommodated my skin tone.”

“Come on…the gang has been waiting for you.” Kit took hold of Bette’s hand and started to guide her towards the living room when Bette stopped and pulled Kit back. 

“Is she here?”

“Who?”

“Tina.”

“Bette, you know Tina was invited.”

“I know. I just would like give myself a minute to prepare if she is here.”

Kit formed a suspicious grin.

“Don’t.” Bette raised her finger admonishing the thoughts that started to fill Kit’s head.

“I didn’t say a word.”

“You didn’t have to, I know what you were thinking.”

“The answer to your question; she has not arrived yet.”

“Okay. That’s good.”

“Good?”

“I just would have felt more uncomfortable walking into the room with her being there. It’s easier this way.”

“Uh huh. Still in love with that woman aren’t you?”

Bette folded her arms. “Its been ten years Kit. You can’t still be in love with someone after all that time. Plus, I’m sure she is seeing someone anyway.”

Kit smirked. “Come on, let’s go see the girls. They have been waiting for you.”

When Kit and Bette walked into the living room, the girls looked like a bunch of young ones that just set their eyes upon Santa. They sprung to their feet, and with smiles on their faces they quickly threw questions galore at her.

“Bette! Look at you, you look beautiful as ever. How was the trip?” Alice asked right before she hugged her.

“Good. It was a good flight.”

“How the hell have you been?” Shane inquired next.

“I’ve been good. A little busy, but good. How have you been?”

Shane didn’t want to engage in questions. She just wanted to hug her friend that she had been missing for much too long. “I’ve been okay. God it’s so nice to actually hug you.”

Bette smiled. She was feeling quite a bit of acceptance and comfort from her friends, and it felt nice. “Thank you. It’s nice to be back.” Once she released their embrace, Dana was next to put one on her.

“We are all so happy you came home for Christmas Bette. You’ve been missed.”

“Thanks Dane. I’ve missed you all too.”

“Alright, enough of the mush. Who wants a drink?” Kit asked.

“I’ll have a Cosmopolitan,” Alice piped up.

“Good, you can make that yourself. If it isn’t wine or beer, I’m pretty clueless.”

Bette rolled her eyes. “I can make it if you like?”

“No…no you just get comfortable and relax. Its been a long flight.”

As Bette answered more and more questions about what she has been doing with her time, how her job was going, and if she would ever consider finding a job in California, she stood in front of the mantle, admiring some new pictures of David, Kit, some cousins, and a rather funny picture of the gang. She never heard the knock on the front door, or the entrance of the woman who had been filling her thoughts her entire trip back home. She picked up the funny picture and turned to ask the girls about when the picture had been taken. When she did, it was then that she saw Tina standing in the kitchen handing a bottle of wine to Kit.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

While Dana looked at Bette, Shane followed where her eyes were staring. She elbowed Dana, encouraging her to look at just what caused Bette to literally go motionless. The expression on Bette’s face was priceless. She looked like a mannequin, standing still as ever as her eyes focused in on one thing.

Alice was in the kitchen sipping her drink when she spotted Bette looking into the kitchen. She felt her senses come alive at how incredibly romantic it all seemed to be, and it was happening right under her nose. So many times, the girls would wonder what it would be like the first time they actually had a chance to see one another after so many years. “Why don’t you join us in the living room Tee,” Alice suggested, knowing quite well that Tina had not seen Bette yet.

Tina turned towards the living room. When she did, her eyes immediately met the brunette’s. She instantly felt herself inhale a sharp breath as her heart started to race. Bette was wearing a pair of black slacks, and a pair of black stilettos. The cranberry top was a form fitting v-neck with three quarter inch sleeves. The jewelry she had selected to compliment her outfit was a matching bangle bracelet and earrings. She had a scarf draped in a dramatic fashion around her neck. Tina couldn’t do any talking right now, except in her head, and even then she was sure it wouldn’t be enough to calm her as much as she felt she needed to be.

The girls went silent as they took in the extraordinary thing happening before them. Kit had leaned up against the doorway and watched. It was as if Bette and Tina were on a stage, with the audience in a state of awe as they observed these two beauties..

Tina walked towards her former love, while Bette placed the picture back on the mantle. They met one another in the middle of the room, but neither made a move to hug the other, uncertain what was the proper thing to do after such a ten year absence. “Tina,” Bette cleared her throat. “It’s…so nice to see you.”

“Thank you.” Tina couldn’t help but stare at the almond eyes that were locked with hers. A few moments of studying one another’s face seemed to take over any potential conversation. “You look…great.”

“Thanks. You look…amazing. The years have treated you quite well.” Bette scanned her body, from head to toe, then slowly back up to her face.

Tina smiled. “I don’t think they have done such a bad job with you either.”

The girls started to smile. Alice decided it was time she piped in to help things along. “My God, seriously…after ten years it isn’t against any social rules to hug one another!”

Bette glanced down at Alice and arched a brow. Tina caught the gesture and chuckled lightly. “Some things never change.”

“No…I guess they don’t.”

Tina stepped in closer, and Bette followed suit. They appeared a little awkward at first, but once Tina slipped her left hand along Bette’s right side, then followed it with her right hand over Bette’s left shoulder, they fell into an embrace which time and ten years didn’t prevent them from remembering. Bette closed her eyes at the familiar scent of Tina’s perfume. A slight smile crossed her face. Kit and Shane caught the expression from the vantage point they had. Tina’s nose had brushed against one of Bette’s long curls. The scent of her shampoo was exactly the same she used years ago. The reminder startled her, and even more so that she could recall it so well. Her expression was caught by Dana and Alice.

Dana stood up and took hold of Alice’s arm. “Come on…let’s help Kit in the kitchen,” she whispered.

Alice resisted at first, but with Shane’s urging them along, she complied. Once the girls were in the kitchen, they watched on silently. Their curiosity couldn’t be helped.

“Just look at them. Don’t they fit perfectly?” Alice whispered.

“They fucking absolutely do. They have always made one of the most beautiful couples I have ever known, and I’ve been in the company of a lot,” Shane added while her heart turned all fuzzy from the two women now releasing their embrace.

Tina joined Bette on the sofa, and in a very odd way, she started to feel more relaxed than she thought possible. “I read about the re-opening of the art museum. It sounds like it was a huge success.”

Bette was captivated by those blue eyes that she remembered so well over the years. She pulled herself from staring into them just long enough to answer. “You caught some publicity on it? I didn’t think it would have been that important to hit the LA news.”

Tina felt like a teenager feeling her face flush. “I actually googled it.”

Bette smiled. “Really?”

“Sure. Alice had mentioned something about it, and I looked up the New York Times online.”

The thought of Tina actually taking the time to do that, made Bette feel nice. “That was very kind of you to have some interest in it.”

“I’ve caught a few things every now and again,” Tina said softly. “You’re good at what you do…always have been.”

“Thank you.” Bette shifted slightly on the sofa. “Enough about me, when is that second book coming out?”

Tina tilted her head to the side. “Second book? You knew I wrote a first one?” 

“Of course. As a matter of fact, I brought it with me for you to autograph.”

Tina chuckled, slightly embarrassed. “My god, you could have gotten that off one of our old cancelled checks.”

“You know, that would have been a good idea. I could have made millions selling them on Ebay!” Bette joked.

The women both felt completely at ease and comfortable with one another. Whatever reservations they had, was put to rest almost immediately. The laughter, the light and playful taps on the other’s shoulder as they spoke, was proof that they were once again enjoying the company of each other, in a way which one would never have known ten years had come between them.

“Wow, can you believe how easy that was for them?” Dana thought out loud. “It’s like they never missed a beat, and its been ten years.”

“No kidding,” Alice agreed.

“I think I’ll just go in there and leave these two glasses of wine on the table in front of them. In the meantime, I could use a little more help with the meal. The ham has another hour to cook, but we can get some of these other things going.” Kit put the cork back on the bottle of wine.

“What can we do?” Shane asked.

“Well, let me just get these glasses in there and when I come back I’ll let you know.”

Bette took only a couple of seconds away from her focus on Tina to glance down at the two glasses that Kit had brought over. She didn’t interrupt the dialogue to acknowledge the gesture. The women were completely in tune with one another, finding themselves once again finishing a sentence or two for the other one as they reminisced about happier times they shared in the years that had gone by.

“So, what do you think? Anyone want to place any bets?” Alice’s tone was devious.

“What?”

“Those two. How much do you want to bet they end up in bed by midnight Christmas night?”

“Stop. That isn’t funny to place bets on friends.” Dana once again found herself admonishing Alice.

“You know, it would be wonderful if you would chill out once in a while and stop being my mother.”

Shane cringed. “Ouch.”

Dana pushed the oven rack with the ham back into the oven. “I would if you would stop being so damn nosey.”

“Shhh…girls, keep it down. The best thing each of us can do is not give them any pressure. Its been a long time since they have been able to sit like this, and really just have a nice time.” Kit looked over at her sister, who appeared to be happier than she remembered her being in a long time. “As much as I would love to know they might try again, that is a huge change for both of them. Bette lives in New York, and has a job she has really found a lot of fulfillment in. We don’t have a clue as to whether either of them is serious about anyone in their life right now. I say, give them the space to just reconnect as friends. I think if they could walk away after this holiday with even just that, it would make me thrilled.”

“You know, Kit’s right. It really isn’t our life to live. They are both adults, and I’m all for whatever makes them most happy. If it ends up being a friendship, then so be it.” Dana was sure to share her opinion in the hopes that Alice would agree.

Alice, however, wasn’t going to be convinced. “I don’t think those two were ever capable of being just friends. That is why you saw how quickly the friendship faded over the years. They weren’t meant to be just friends. They were meant to be a lot more than that.”

Before anyone could counter Alice’s opinion, the house turned dark.

“What the fuck?” Kit yelled as she looked around to see that her entire house lost power. “No…no-no-no, this is not happening.”

It was the one thing that caused Bette to look away from Tina. “Excuse me, I think my sister might be ready to have a stroke.”

Tina followed Bette into the kitchen. “What happened?”

“Looks like she lost power,” Shane replied. “She’s on the phone with one of her neighbors to see if they lost power too.”

Bette opened the oven. “How much longer did she have on this?”

“About an hour or so.”

“Looks like we are going to have to order take out,” Alice remarked just as Kit came into the kitchen with her cell phone.

“No we are not. I spent too much money on this food to have it go to waste. I called Karen across the street. She said their power went out too. She’s going to call Steven’s cell phone. I guess he is working at the power company today, and find out if he knows of any outages.”

“If it’s out, it may only be for a little while. In the meantime, we just make the best of it.” Bette looked around at a few surprised faces. “What?”

“Damn, Bette Porter you have changed quite a bit over the years. There was a time you would have been freaking out over something like this happening.” Shane was seriously surprised by Bette’s relaxed position.

“Well, I guess time has a way of making you realize what really matters and what doesn’t.” Bette looked over at Tina, who slowly looked away.

Dana looked around the kitchen. “It’s still fairly light in here. Once it gets dark outside, then we will need a few candles I’m sure.”

“I’m not worried so much about that, as I am the food,” Kit said nervously.

“I’ll bet it will be back on within the hour,” Dana said optimistically.

Kit answered the phone which was still in her hand. “Hello. Oh wow. Well when did he say it might be back on? Shit! I need to cook the rest of the meal. Is he sure? Damn it. Okay, well thanks Karen. Let me know if you find out anything more.” Kit flipped her cell phone shut and placed it on the kitchen island. “Well, this is not good at all. The power may not be on for another two hours.”

“We can wait it out. I mean no one is in any big hurry right?” Dana tried hard to keep Kit relaxed. Truth was, most everyone was starving, except for Bette and Tina who appeared as though all the nourishment they needed was simply fulfilled looking at one another.

“She said it could even be longer.”

Tina looked around the room. “I live the closest to here, and may even have the most room. How about if we packed everything up and just finished cooking it at my place? We can have Christmas Eve there.”

The gang looked at one another as they thought about Tina’s offer. Bette was the first to share her opinion. “Fabulous idea. Let’s start packing it up.”

Tina place her hand on Bette’s arm. “Maybe we should wait and see if everyone is in agreement.”

Bette looked down at Tina’s hand. It was such a small and innocent touch, but it was enough to stop her in her tracks. “Yes…of course.”

Bette’s eagerness didn’t go unnoticed. “I think Bette is right. I think it would be a good idea, don’t you think Dana?”

Dana looked at Alice and saw her wink. “Uh sure. I’m all for it.”

Bette smiled at everyone’s concurrence. “That settles it. Kit, do you have any boxes downstairs? We could stack some of the dishes in them to make it easier to transport.”

“I have a few downstairs.”

“I’ll get them,” Shane offered.

Christmas Eve dinner would be spared, thanks for some quick thinking, flexible friends, and a little ulterior motive from a blonde who was finding things stirring in herself that started the moment she found that letter tucked away in her memory box, and grew stronger by the minute by the sight of its author.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

It was like playing follow the leader with cars, Tina leading the way. Tina offered for Bette to join her in her car as they made the drive to her home. During that time, they continued to feel quite comfortable with the conversation they had been making.

“I like the white lights,” Bette remarked as Tina pulled into the driveway. “Just enough to make it look really nice.”

“Thanks. I wasn’t sure I was going to put them up this year. Every year I debate putting up a tree and decorations where it is only for myself, but I knew if I didn’t do it I would feel bad later.”

“Well, they look great.”

As the girls made their way from their cars, they each grabbed something from the car to take into the house. Once inside, Bette was greeted with the charm of Tina’s decorating. Her eyes widened as a smile formed. “Wow…it’s so inviting.” Bette placed the box on the table and started to admire all that Tina had done with the house. The Christmas decorations certainly added some life, but even that which had nothing to do with the holiday décor had a remarkable sense of creativity.

Tina walked into the living room and hit the switch that lit the gas fireplace. The timer had already turned the tree lights on, as well as a few other decorations which were plugged into the unit. Bette took a step inside the living room and was met with a warmth she hadn’t felt in a long time. The Christmas tree and fireplace offered just enough light to create a cozy atmosphere. Her eyes scanned the tree and stopped at the sight of a familiar ornament. She walked closer and held it gently as she read the small writing. “California Arts Center – 2006” It had been a miniature Van Gogh painting that they made into ornaments and gave to those who attended their special Holiday Art Show that year. She was surprised to see Tina had kept it. When she turned around to inquire about it, Tina had already come close to her.

“Yes…I still kept it.” 

Bette turned back to the tree, she felt some emotion building and didn’t want to succumb to it.

Tina started to point out certain ornaments connected with Bette and their past. “…as well as…that one there…and…let’s see…this one. Do you remember when we had picked this one up?”

Bette nodded. She couldn’t believe that after all the years that passed, so much of the past that they shared was before her eyes on Tina’s tree. 

“You had sent that to me, the year you took that trip to Denver.”

Bette remembered that year. That was the year she was upset that she was attending a conference around the holidays. What she hadn’t remembered was the letter that she had written to Tina. However, before the evening would end, Tina would make sure she shared it with Bette. For whatever reason, it felt right.

#

The dinner was a success. The girls shared many stories with one another, and after a few hours, there wasn’t too much left to share.

Bette took a sip of wine from her glass. “Well, it sounds like in all of three hours, I have had a pretty good time finding out what each of you have been up to.”

Alice turned to Bette. “What about you? Anyone in particular been filling your nights?”

“Alice!” Dana said sharply. “That was just…God Al.”

Tina looked from Alice to Bette. She wasn’t going to admonish Alice in the least bit. She had been curious all night about the answer to such a question, and in the three hours everyone was baring their soul, it never came up.

Alice attempted to defend herself. “What? No one else seems offended. Were you offended Bette?”

“Coming from you…not at all. I guess at some point tonight I expected to receive an interrogation in some form.”

Though Dana wasn’t very pleased with Alice being so forward, she joined the others in this moment of silence as everyone awaited Bette’s answer.

“I had been seeing a woman for about a year and a half. We broke up about nine months ago.”

“Nine months ago! Shit, women can grow a life in their body in 9 months. No one at all since then?” Alice disregarded the poke she got from Dana.

“No Alice, there hasn’t been anyone else since then.”

“Just not interested?” Shane asked.

“I guess as you age, you just want find that person who grounds you. The one who you really want to settle yourself with.”

“You haven’t found her yet, you’re saying?” Kit questioned.

Bette felt everyone’s eyes on hers, including Tina’s. She looked over at Tina. “I think I might have…at one time. As life would have it, I never was able to get that second chance again.”

Tina felt Bette’s heart start talking to her own. She hadn’t given Bette that second chance, and it was obvious now, that Bette had been looking for something to fill her life, that one woman she could settle down with. However, it never came. That second chance could really only be complete with a certain person.

Dana stood up to go into the kitchen. “Anyone for some more wine?”

“Sure,” Shane replied.

“I’ll take another glass,” Kit joined in. “Dana, why don’t you just bring the bottles over. I have the White Zin in the fridge, and the Merlot on the counter.”

Nosy Alice decided to chime in. “So, Tee…what’s been up with you? You and Julie were going out for a little bit there. You still involved?”

Tina threw a few daggers at Alice. She didn’t want to address a thing about Julie. She wanted to try to figure some things out on her own without divulging anything. The truth was, she didn’t even know if they were still “together” or if they had “broken up” when Julie spoke of taking that break. How do you just pause a relationship? If you do, how is that defined to others? “Um…it…well, I guess I’m not.”

“Oh…what a shame.” Alice smirked. “I wasn’t very fond of Julie anyway. Nice woman, but…just didn’t think she was your type.”

Bette looked from Tina to her glass of wine. She tried hard to hide the grin that started to form as a result of Alice’s honesty.

“I thought she was friendly enough,” Dana said as she placed the bottles of wine on the table.

“She was nice.” Tina felt extremely uncomfortable. “I don’t know…I guess sometimes in relationships, some things change. It gets lonely sometimes, and I suppose I end up finding myself willing to settle for less than I should. I haven’t been able to duplicate what I once had.” Tina stared at her glass of wine.

“Kind of been your problem for awhile now hasn’t it?” Alice added. She was walking a thin line between her two friends, but she knew it might be a long time before she could get them in the same room like this. All night they had been sitting near one another, and neither asked if the other had been seeing someone. So, like it or not, Alice’s bluntness was going to help these ladies in the long run.

**LATER**

Shane looked down at her watch. “It’s getting kind of late. I promised Janis I would give her a call.”

“How’s her mother doing?” Kit asked.

“Better. I think she’ll end up staying with her Mom for awhile.” Shane went to Tina and gave her a hug, as well as Bette. “I hope Christmas treats you both good.”

“Are you going to come here for Christmas dinner?” Tina asked.

“Um…actually I’m going to check some flights to Mexico City. I’m thinking of surprising Janis.”

“Wow, I bet she would be pretty surprised to see you.”

“Yeah, I think so. That’s why I figured I would call her and get a feel for where she will be tomorrow and around what time so I can plan it.”

“That’s so sweet. Well, I will miss you tomorrow, but I hope you have a wonderful day with Janis.”

“You too Tina.”

While Bette and Tina walked Shane to the front door; Alice, Dana and Kit were alone in the living room agreeing on a change of plans for Christmas Day. 

“It was great seeing her, its been so long,” Bette said as she and Tina made their way back to the living room. Bette dropped her hand on the small of Tina’s back. “It was a great evening Tee.”

Tina felt shivers travel up and down her spine, a bit startled by Bette’s hand resting so easily on that once familiar place. “I had a wonderful time too Bette.”

“I’m happy I decided to take the trip home for Christmas.”

Tina was surprised Bette referred to California as home after so long. She stopped and looked at Bette a moment before continuing into the living room. “I’m really glad you did too. It has brought a whole new life to the holiday this year.”

“Hey guys, we are going to head home. Dane has a wicked bad headache.”

“Oh no. Do you want some aspirin?” Tina asked.

“It’s okay. I’ll get some at home. I just want to hit the bed and get some sleep. I’m sure that’s what I need.”

“Well try to get enough rest so you can be well for tomorrow. Dinner will be around three o’clock.” Tina turned to Bette. “Your flight is at seven right?”

“Yes. I figured I would leave here around five-thirty.”

“Yeah, about that,” Alice rubbed Dana’s back. “I’m kind of thinking that we might just hang at home. When Dana gets these migraines, it makes her pretty sick for a couple of days.”

“Oh that’s terrible.” Tina had no clue what was really happening. “Can I make you a few plates of leftovers to take home for tomorrow?”

Bette watched Tina’s most tender side shine. She couldn’t help but feel herself falling head over heals for this woman again. However, she was being very cautious, making sure she kept it all in perspective. She had a great job back east, and it took a long time to get herself as established as she was. When she had left, things were changing in California, in terms of good jobs in the art field. Ten years later, she wasn’t so sure they would be any better, if not worse. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Tina. She observed her sashay towards the kitchen to put a few plates together. Watched as she bent down and opened a lower cabinet, her sweater dipping just so, offering a preview of part of her chest. Bette knew it was respectful to look away, but she couldn’t. This was a body she had known all too well, and as she stared at every part of Tina that her form fitting sweater and skirt accented, she felt things begin happening to her body. Most women she had been with, had to physically stimulate her in order for some of these things to occur. With Tina, it was never the case. All she had to do was look at her, and she would often find her nipples harden, her center moisten. She stood from the sofa and went to the window where she cracked it open a little bit. Kit noticed the sudden move.

“You okay?”

“Sure,” Bette said as she hoped to avoid any sign in her expression which would reveal her current condition.

“You sure?” Kit probed.

“Yeah, I am. Maybe you should help Tina.”

Kit was confused. If anything, she thought it would be better if Bette helped her. “You don’t want to help her?”

“Uh…Kit…I just need a minute here.”

Kit started to understand that perhaps Bette was feeling a little overwhelmed. “Okay, I’ll go see if she needs some help.”

“Thank you.”

Bette reached deep. She couldn’t believe the flood of feelings that cascaded over her. She knew in her heart that Tina was the one, but there was so much risk involved in trying again. She was so prepared to do so, ten years ago. Tina hadn’t wanted it then. She wasn’t sure if either of them could go back down a road they already traveled. But life wasn’t about going back as much as it was about going forward.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

The house was empty with only Kit and Bette left. Kit was reluctant to make the first move to leave, for she knew Bette didn’t have a car, and would need to leave with her. She started to feel herself getting sleepy. 

“You may have to drive baby girl if we stay here any longer.”

Bette looked down at her watch. “Christ. I didn’t realize it was so late. Tina, I’m sorry…we should get going.”

Tina looked disappointed. She wasn’t tired at all, and Bette didn’t appear to be either. “Why don’t you both stay? I have a spare room.”

“We couldn’t,” Bette said more as a reflex than anything else.

Kit raised a brow. This could be a valuable opportunity for Bette. “I am used to my own bed, but thank you.” She turned to Bette. “You were going to head back here tomorrow for Christmas dinner right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I was giving something a little though tonight…I hadn’t discussed it with anyone yet, but I was thinking of pulling a Shaney.”

“I don’t understand.” Bette’s confusion showed.

“Your nephew David, he is in Vegas. He is at a conference. I was considering surprising him.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah…not a good idea?”

“Well, I don’t know…I come out here for Christmas, and it seems like everyone is heading in all different directions.”

“I’m not,” Tina said softly. “I still plan on making Christmas dinner.”

Bette looked over at Tina. “For who?”

“Well, let’s see…mathematically if you take Shane out, Dana and Alice…now Kit…well that leaves you and I.”

Kit couldn’t help but smile. “So…look, if that’s the case, and you are going to be here anyway, why not stay? This way, I can fly out in the morning and not worry about getting you back here in the early hours of the morning before heading to the airport. Makes sense doesn’t it?”

Things were happening pretty fast for Bette. She wasn’t in control of any of it, and that was something she wasn’t particularly fond of. “Um…I…I guess.”

Tina smiled at how uncomfortable Bette had seemed to become. It was kind of cute. At the same time, she also didn’t want to see Bette squirm too much. “It will be fun Bette. We can stay up late and make some funny pictures on the wall with our hands and a flashlight.”

Bette looked at Tina and couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, you won me over with that one. What was I thinking by not wanting to stay?”

Tina and Kit both joined in the laughter. “Okay ladies, I’ll do this, I’ll run home real quick and grab Bette’s bag and bring it back here. You’ll get a taxi back to the airport tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yeah, that won’t be a problem.”

“I could even take you back to the airport,” Tina suggested.

“It’s okay Tee. The taxi worked out well.” Bette wasn’t sure she could stand at an airport again, saying goodbye to Tina. She felt it was better to say goodbye and have the chance to quickly get into a taxi, alone with her emotions.

“Alright. If you change your mind, the offer stands.”

“Thanks.”

#

It didn’t take very long for Kit to return with Bette’s bag and then leave. For Bette and Tina, the night was spent in front of the fireplace, cracking walnuts open and drinking wine. The connection they shared ten years ago easily resurfaced. The wine was helping both of them to relax and lose most of their inhibitions. 

“Your expression was priceless when you saw that print I had gotten you that Christmas.”

Bette traced the rim of her glass with her finger. “I still have that.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do. Just like you still have a few of the paintings I had given you a long time ago.”

Tina took another sip of wine. “I wouldn’t give them up for anything. They represent so much to me.”

Bette turned to Tina, who had been sitting very close to her on the sofa. She let her hand move from the back of the sofa to play with Tina’s hair. “Like?”

“Like, us. What we had. What I have been trying to find all along and just haven’t been able to get it all.” Tina glanced over at Bette. The move caused Bette to lose contact with Tina’s hair. “I’ve dated quite a few people since Kate. Every one of them seemed to have a little something I was seeking. If I could have taken one thing from this one, and another thing from the other one, and put it all together…well maybe I would had had something a little close.”

“Close to what?”

Tina hesitated a moment, but she reached deep within herself to share what was in her heart. “Close to what we had, together.”

Bette knew exactly what Tina meant. In her heart, though she would admit it to no one, she too had been searching for someone that would make her feel all she felt when she was sharing her days and nights with the woman sitting beside her. “I understand that.”

Tina focused on the flames in the fireplace, watching them dance to no particular rhythm. Bette’s eyes soon joined hers. A silence grew as neither of them knew what to say. It was out there now, the fact that both of them had searched for years, hoping to find something that duplicated the love they had found in each other over a decade ago.

Tina turned towards Bette. “I have something to show you.” She stood from the sofa and held her hand out for Bette to take hold of. 

“I thought you would never ask,” Bette joked as she took her hand and allowed Tina to lead the way.

“Funny. I’m not ‘that’ drunk.”

Bette snapped her fingers. “Too bad…we would have had a good excuse.”

Tina stopped and turned towards Bette. “Is that how you would have wanted it?”

Bette’s expression turned serious. She stared into Tina’s eyes which offered her so much that words sometimes couldn’t. “No…no I wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t think so.”

Tina led Bette up the stairs and to the door that went to the attic.

“Where are you taking me?”

“To the attic,” Tina said before stumbling. “Perhaps I need to shut myself off.”

Bette laughed. “I think so. Take it easy before you hurt yourself. Why are we going to the attic?”

“I have something to show you.”

Bette laughed to herself. “I think I’ve seen it before.” She couldn’t help it, but when she drank she always got a little feisty as her mind a bit raunchy.

“Stop…it isn’t anything like that, and don’t you DARE snap those fingers again.”

Bette couldn’t believe how nice the attic looked. Tina had decorated it like it was a sitting room. The boxes that she was storing items in, were decorated with scalloped labels affixed to them. “Wow, if this isn’t ‘type A’ I don’t know what is.”

“I was tired of it looking so messy. I was watching Martha Stewart one day and thought, ‘hey I could do that,’ and I did!”

Bette smiled at the thought of Tina watching Martha Stewart. “I guess working from home really does have its privileges huh?”

”I like to think so,” Tina said as she pulled the memory box from the shelf that she had been looking at several days earlier. “I came across something not too long ago. I wasn’t sure there would ever be a chance to show you. So, when I heard you were coming home, I thought about it, and told myself I wouldn’t show you unless I felt that it was right.” She took a seat on the small loveseat and placed the box on the small wicker chest in front of it.

Bette joined her. “And…you feel it’s right?”

Tina turned to Bette. “I do…don’t ask me why, I just do. I think maybe all the reminiscing we did, just made me feel comfortable enough share this.”

Bette didn’t have the slightest clue. Things were a little fuzzy in her head due to the wine, but even if she wasn’t feeling slightly under the influence, she wasn’t quite sure she would have figured out what Tina was talking about. “Okay…well…what is it?”

Tina started to feel even more sentimental as she opened the memory box. She tilted it so Bette could see.

“Do these things look familiar?”

Bette couldn’t believe what she we seeing. Tina had a copy of the restaurant menu from their first date, as well as a number of other little pieces of their past. “I can’t believe it…you kept all these things?”

Tina nodded as her eyes became misty. Bette placed her hand in the box and started to take each item out, allowing them both some time to reflect upon them. Finally, Tina picked out the note, the one from Bette’s trip to Denver. “This…this was something I read many times through the years.” She handed it to Bette, who was curious but equally hesitant.

“What is it?”

”Open it…you’ll see.”

Bette carefully opened the note. The edges were clearly worn, indicating it had been open and folded many times over. She started to read the words she had written to Tina many years earlier.

My Dearest Tina,

I felt compelled to write you this note as I travel to yet another conference, this time by train. These business trips which force me from your side, makes me ache for you. When I see the beauty of the landscape and scenery of this place, it makes me wish even more, that you were here with me. The beauty of Denver is something you must experience, particularly when it snows. Oh, what we lack in terms of seasons like this Tee. The purity of the virgin snow as it falls, is something that should grace us each and every year. I’m not sure why, but when I see this, the snow falling, I cannot help but feel you near. Perhaps it reminds me of the weekend in Vermont, the time it snowed and we made love all weekend in front of the fireplace. I’m not sure either of us ever put a thread of clothing on our bodies. I’m confident, that wherever I may travel, when the snow falls, the warmth of you, and our love, will warm my body, soul, and spirit forever. Always… when the snow falls.

All my love,  
Bette 

Bette stared at the paper, and the outline of her lips that she made when she placed her lipstick covered lips against the paper many years ago. She remembered writing this very note as if it were yesterday. By the time she looked from the paper to Tina, both their eyes had filled. She looked back down. “I…I remember this. The snow…it was falling, and all I could think about was you. I kept thinking about Vermont, and the snow. We hadn’t been used to anything like that in California…at least not in the Southern part. I felt so alone when it started to snow and you weren’t with me. It made me think back to Vermont, and our love…and…wow…I can’t believe you still have this. Hell I can’t believe you kept any of these things.” Bette folded the note carefully and opened Tina’s hand. She placed it in her palm. “I’m glad that you’re a sentimental fool. If you weren’t, we wouldn’t be able to look back to yesterday with so many smiles and such a fond remembrance.”

Tina looked at the box. “Every item in there means a lot to me.”

”Even now?”

”Yes…even now.”

Besides their love, there was another thing about Bette and Tina that lasted throughout the years, but which wasn’t one of the better things about either of them. Stubbornness. They were always both too stubborn to really talk from their heart. The walls they put up to protect themselves from hurt, ended up preventing so many good things that could have come into their lives as well. Tonight, though they did something they failed to do when they were together before; they opened up and shared quite a bit with one another…though neither had been able to take that final step.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments here and elsewhere. I am glad you like this short story - I sure love writing TiBEtte!

CHAPTER 9

When Bette settled herself in the spare room, she stared at the ceiling. The wine had started to wear off a little bit, and her thoughts were clearer than they were earlier. She was taken back, so much, by the memory box. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that Tina had held onto those items because they meant something to her then, and they obviously had to mean something to her now. She reflected on the years that they had wasted, and as a woman who had always strongly believed you are where you are meant to be, she wondered what this trip was suppose to mean. Her life was good. She was settled in New York, and frankly she had become quite accustomed to the busy city life there. One could say Los Angeles was a city just the same, but not all cities were exactly alike. Bette’s coop was central to the heart of the art world. She attended many theatre plays, musicals, and ballet performances. She had become a spokeswoman for many of the smaller production companies who were incorporating still art into their programs. There was a flavor and life in New York City that Los Angeles couldn’t compete with in the least. She was torn right down the middle. She would love to have a life with Tina. She knew that this woman who had walked by her side for a number of years would never be replaced. She had to begin weighing what it was which brought her more enjoyment, was it love…or was it having a career of a lifetime?

#

Tina had closed the curtains then slid under the covers. She had been accustomed to reading each night before sleep would take over, but on this night her mind was in overdrive. She couldn’t erase the expression on Bette’s face when she had seen the contents of the memory box. It was something that would become a part of her memory forever. There was also something so meaningful about Bette actually touching that note again, after all those years. Yes, Tina was a sentimental woman, and on this evening she was filling her heart with even more memories and sentiment. She started to wonder what it would be like if Bette was able to move to Los Angeles. From the conversation they had so far this evening, Bette seemed quite happy and settled in New York. To Tina, it made sense. New York City had a flair for art that few places in the country had. It wasn’t that much of a surprise that Bette had chosen to stay there, even after she and Jodi had split. Tina started to consider what her life would be like if she lived in New York City. As a writer, she enjoyed what she had where she was. New York would be nice, but at the same time it was a little too eccentric to her liking. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was going to have to decide what she could handle living without more, the life she had built in Los Angeles…or this woman who had this undeniable hold on her heart?

**NEXT MORNING/CHRISTMAS DAY**

Tina woke in a bit of a panic, aware that she hadn’t gotten Bette a thing for Christmas. She knew that there wouldn’t be a place opened, and even if there was, what on earth would she say she was going off to do? She started to pace in the bedroom, talking to herself once again. “Okay, think Tina…think.” When she walked by her laptop, she had an idea.

#

Bette had gotten her things together to take a shower. She came out to the living room but there was no sign of any life yet. She decided to head straight for the bathroom. Once inside the shower, it was then Bette realized that she hadn’t brought a present with her to give to Tina for Christmas. It seemed like such a strange thing to do before she had headed to Los Angeles, yet right now, after they had gotten so very close again, she felt terrible at the thought of not having something for her. As the warm shower water cleansed her body, she tried hard to think of how she could get a present for Tina without access to an automobile.

#

Tina had come into the kitchen where she found Bette sitting at the table reading the newspaper. It was so surreal, and for a moment she needed to remind herself that it was ten years later. She felt herself easily embracing the scene before her, every day from here forward. 

“Good morning,” Bette said as she looked up from the newspaper to find Tina dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a black skin tight jersey. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you too. How did you sleep?”

”Fine. You?”

“Pretty good.” Tina’s eyes scanned the brunette, who was wearing a white long sleeve sweater and a pair of blue jeans. She looked pretty damn appetizing, and before she would let herself get into any trouble, she turned towards the cupboard.

”I hope you don’t mind that I started reading your newspaper.”

”Not at all. Anything good in there?”

Bette turned the page. ”Not yet.”

“Never is. I almost hate to read the newspaper around the holidays. It saddens me when there is so much violence and loss of life, especially on Christmas.”

“I know. That’s the media for you. If it isn’t something sensational, then it isn’t newsworthy. Sensation to them isn’t defined so much by good deeds as it is the bad ones.”

“Do you want some coffee? I bought a bag of Starbucks.”

”Yeah? Which one?”

”Your favorite.”

“You remember my favorite huh?” Bette smiled, of course Tina would remember.

“I do,” Tina grinned as she opened the bag and sniffed the beans. “Yep, good ole Arabian Mocha Sanani.”

Bette’s heart was filling up more and more from all the little things that Tina had done prior to her visit. She knew that she had to be equally nervous and apprehensive, yet she still put a lot of effort into making this visit special. “Thanks Tee.”

She said it, and as soon as it was said, Tina thought her heart skipped a beat. The heat that had suddenly gone to her face and made her feel flushed couldn’t be hidden. She attempted to scoop some beans from the bag when her shaking hand lost its grip and the beans spilled onto the counter. “Shit!”

Bette stood from the chair and went over to the counter. She took hold of the scoop which was still in Tina’s shaking hand. “Here…let me see.” Bette looked at Tina and could see how red her face was. “Are you okay?”

Tina couldn’t look at Bette. She felt the warmth between their bodies. She knew Bette was standing extremely close to her, and should she turn, she knew that she would be in Bette’s face. She wanted to kiss her, and she wanted to be kissed. However, she didn’t want to make Bette feel uncomfortable. She wanted to make sure that Bette would feel at ease returning for a visit in the very near future. She had failed to answer Bette’s question, which caused Bette to put her hand on Tina’s arm. “Tina?”

”I…I’m fine.”

Bette gently encouraged Tina to turn to face her, which she did. Tina had kept her eyes lowered, afraid that when she brought them up she would be staring at Bette’s breasts, which her jersey had been emphasizing since she came into the kitchen. Bette placed her hand under Tina’s chin and gently raised it to look into her eyes. “You seem a little nervous.”

Tina looked at Bette and felt her breaths become somewhat illicit as she exhaled. The space between them was minimal. The soft touch that was upon her chin from Bette’s hand was turning her thoughts into something almost unlawful. She felt her bottom lip drop ever so slightly.

Bette could see it. It was clearer than the window pane over the sink. Tina’s mind was speaking to her own, and the thoughts were as adulterated as ever. They were two adult women, who shared an incredible past. One hadn’t been involved with someone in several months, the other had been filling her life with someone in recent months who she wasn’t feeling anything close to what she was feeling at that moment. Bette let her thumb glide over Tina’s chin as she allowed Tina’s impure thoughts to speak to her own. Bette leaned in, as did Tina. For a few seconds their faces did a to and fro action before actually making contact. That short hesitation caused both of them to abandon all resistance in every form. As their lips lightly touched, it was like an electric current passing from one to the other then back. The spark between the two, had not only started, but created a flame, and in no time at all rolled into an inferno between their mouths. They kissed with desperation…with need. They celebrated the past, the present, and all the years in between as they parted lips to allow their tongues to once again enjoy getting reacquainted. 

Tina’s hands cupped each side of Bette’s face as Bette walked her a few inches backwards against the counter. One hand slipped to Tina’s side, as the other weaved through the hair at the nape of Tina’s neck. She gently tugged the handful of hair which caused the blonde to tilt her head back in compliance. This gesture allowed Bette the opportunity to take on the sensitive part of Tina’s neck that she knew had always made her demand more.

“Fuck,” Tina uttered, realizing there was no possibility left that she could stop things from progressing. Her hands pulled at the bottom of Bette’s sweater.

“Mmmm,” Bette moaned into Tina’s neck as she took turns nibbling and licking the skin just a few inches below her ear. She brought her thigh between Tina’s legs and pushed against her center.

Tina’s couldn’t resist Bette, and the truth was she didn’t want to. No one ever made love to her with the passion, determination, and skills that Bette possessed. She was tired of faking orgasms, with the only honest ones coming from her own hands. “Make love to me,” She said in desperation while unbuttoning her own jeans. Bette brought her mouth back to Tina’s, pushing her tongue between her lips as the mission to please her continued. She dragged her tongue along the roof of Tina’s mouth, then dropped it lower so both their tongues could try to pin the other as the battle for dominance increased. Tina lowered the zipper of her jeans, which revealed she wasn’t wearing any panties. 

“I need you here.” She brought Bette’s hand to her abdomen, then slowly guided Bette’s hand over her mound, to her wet center. Bette twisted her brows as she quickly withdrew her tongue from Tina’s mouth and moaned against the blonde’s face. The feeling of Tina, after all those years was a highly emotional experience for Bette. The truth of what was happening was evident as Tina pressed Bette’s hand against her. “It’s you…its always been you.”

Bette slipped her fingers between Tina’s lips. She found her ex exceptionally lubricated, her clit swollen and saturated by her arousal. Tina reached down and pulled her jersey off, which revealed two bare breasts. Her nipples were hard and extended, wanting to be touched. She placed her hand behind Bette’s neck and guided her to her left breast, where Bette rolled her tongue around Tina’s hard nipple, then gently sucked it into her mouth, keeping it inside while she manipulated her tongue in such a way that she flickered it quickly from side to side against the tip of the nipple itself. It was a Porter exclusive, and no other woman ever used that same technique. As Bette’s mouth and fingers manipulated those sacred places on Tina’s body, Tina was ready to praise the lord. “Oh God…I have wanted this for so long.” 

The familiar praises, moans, and rave reviews further excited the brunette. She decided that after ten years, they weren’t going to have sex in the kitchen against the counter. Although it might have been something pretty hot, it just wasn’t going to happen that way. Bette slowly walked Tina towards her bedroom, her fingers never losing contact with the blonde’s center as they did so. It was a very slow progression. By the time they arrived at the bedroom, Bette’s sweater was off, and her jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped. Tina cringed at the loss of contact with Bette. When she sat on the edge of the bed, the top of her jeans folded over. Bette kneeled between her legs and kissed her abdomen. She then made a line of kisses southward, kissing Tina’s landing strip. She was close enough to take in her scent, which was unique only to her. A form of DNA that only Tina Kennard owned, but which Bette Porter had once been privy to enjoying. She closed her eyes as she took in the moment. Tina’s hands were caressing the back of Bette’s hair as she watched her take her time.

“I want you…so much,” Tina whispered. 

Bette looked up at Tina. She could see the want in her eyes. Without any further delay, she brought her mouth to Tina’s center and began dipping her tongue between her lips. As she started a consistent rhythm, Tina dropped back to her elbows, wanting to watch as Bette pleased her orally. The sensations that Bette started to create were too much for Tina to continue keeping herself raised on her forearms. She succumbed to the feelings and fell back against the bed. Bette continued to stimulate her orally as she slowly slid Tina’s jeans off her, never taking her mouth from the blonde for even a moment. Once Tina’s jeans were on the floor, she eased herself out of her own, all while playfully teasing Tina’s center. In a very short time, both women were completely naked and sprawled out on the bed. 

Bette stared into Tina’s eyes, which were filled with passion. “Are you sure about this?”

“I haven’t been more sure about anything BUT this in a very long time,” Tina said as her hand caressed Bette’s back. Tina bent her legs and dropped them to the side, giving Bette full permission to her body. Bette made a slow path down Tina’s body, kissing her skin and squeezing her breasts until she was near Tina’s center. She paused and looked up at Tina who was looking down her with full trust and want. Bette closed her eyes for a moment as she slowly brought her mouth to Tina’s lips and spread them so her clit was exposed. She applied just enough pressure to expose the head of her clit just before she brought her tongue and mouth to that very area where her rhythm and pressure stimulated Tina and one which Bette knew always brought a strong orgasm. The brunette was taking turns pleasing Tina in every way she knew how. It had been such a long time since she had an honest orgasm at the hands and mouth of another person. She felt her body changing with every thrust of Bette’s tongue inside of her. She would go tight, then she would throb, and return to feeling tight again. Bette slipped two fingers inside while her mouth sucked Tina’s clit ever so lightly. She began pumping her fingers in and out, feeling the blonde tighten more and more around them with each consecutive thrust. The stimulation made her more wet than she had ever become, even after having a full fledged orgasm. Her cum had already started to pool at the base of her pussy, soon it would just drip down the crevice to her ass. Her hips started to thrust up and into Bette’s face as she felt the impending orgasm build. “Shit…I…do-don’t…stop…I’m…gonna cum…oh god…oh baby…ohhh babbyyyyyy.” 

Tina’s insides wrapped around Bette’s fingers tight. It was that final thrust upward into Bette’s face, her insides clamping down, and the final cry of pleasure that signaled just when Tina came. Bette stopped moving her fingers, and simply allowed her mouth time to savor the woman she hadn’t tasted in years. “Mmm…god Tee…you …you taste wonderful.”

The thought of Bette between her legs eating her out turned Tina on, and as Bette’s lips brushed against her sensitive clit, and stayed between her legs to enjoy everything her center had to offer, she felt her body willing to surrender once again to Bette. “I…I’m gonna cum again…please…get me there,” Tina pleaded.

Bette slipped two fingers inside of Tina and started to curl them as her tongue made long strokes over Tina’s extremely sensitive clit. It didn’t take any time at all for Tina to cum a second time. Bette slowly drew the rest of the orgasm out of Tina, which prompted a few sporadic cries and moans, all ones of pleasure of course. Tina was breathless. She couldn’t speak to form a sentence. The room appeared fuzzy. She wasn’t sure what it was, perhaps the moments she was holding her breath, or taking little ones which were causing a hyperventilating effect, which caused her to feel spatial. “Fuck…that…was hotter than…hell itself.”

Bette smiled against Tina’s thigh. She looked up to see the blonde’s beautiful breasts rise and fall with each breath. She slid up Tina’s body and kissed her lips lightly. “I’m glad I still have it,” Bette said proudly.

Tina couldn’t help but grin at Bette’s larger than life ego. It was one of the cutest things about her after they would make love. She was always so proud when she was able draw such strong orgasms from this woman. Little did she know, that since then, there was hardly a woman who knew her body well enough to get that same result. 

Bette pulled Tina into her as she wrapped her arm around her. The feeling of Tina’s head resting against her chest, encased in her embrace was the best feeling she had experienced in a long time. Everything felt so right, more than anything else in her life.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Tina’s head rested comfortably against Bette’s chest. It had been such a long time since she had felt so content and fulfilled. Bette knew her body so well, and though it wasn’t a surprise ten years ago, it astonished her how Bette could remember the right pressure, pace, method, and when to apply which one at just the perfect time. She hoped she could also duplicate how well she had remembered the things that Bette enjoyed when they made love. 

“Bette, it amazes me how much you can remember my body…what I like.”

Bette kissed the top of Tina’s head. “I don’t think you ever completely forget.”

Tina raised her head slightly to look at Bette’s face. “I think many people do. But, from what you just did to me, it’s proof that you never did.”

Bette smiled. “I never forgot you Tee. You have always been a part of me, even as each year passed by, and I accepted we would never be a couple again, you were still a part of my heart.” It was the first time Bette ever acknowledged that to anyone outside of herself.

Tina swallowed hard. The truth was, she never truly every got over Bette either. For years she had questioned if she made the right decision by not wanting to accept a relationship with her and commit to it, as well as regretting just watching Bette walk out of her life with little effort to ever let her know what was in her heart. It amazed her how much time had passed them by, both being stubborn and in a strange way unforgiving. Time could be just that…unforgiving, and people could too if they let enough negative and unhealthy thoughts fill their hearts. “You have always had a part of my heart too,” Tina said with full honesty. “Always…” She dropped her hand down Bette’s abdomen and started to play with her neatly trimmed pubic hair as she spoke. “I guess in the beginning, though I knew I had it in my control to make you stay, I didn’t. You were involved with Jodi, and I just watched you walk away. I know that no one owns anyone. I know that I had every right to fight for you, as she would have probably done. I don’t know why, but I just let you go. Time passed…I did hear through the grapevine that you and Jodi had split, but it was so awkward at that point.”

”The grapevine huh? You mean Alice.”

Tina chuckled against Bette’s chest. “Yes…Alice.”

“For so long Tina, I just wanted you to want to try again. You were my best friend, my lover, my wife. I lost all three when we had broken up. I questioned all that you had ever said to me during our entire relationship, because…well how can you love someone so much and just watch them walk away?”

Tina stared down at her fingers which were continuing to play with Bette’s hairs. “I always meant ever word of what I ever said to you. I suppose I let a lot of bad feelings rule my actions. I became spiteful. I tried to convince myself that I didn’t feel rejected by the affair. I had no way of punishing you, and so I…I reached out to Helena…I said things about you that weren’t completely accurate because I was hurting so much. I guess I just wanted you to take all the blame for everything. Even though in my heart, I knew why you walked away…I once again felt abandoned. I didn’t want you, but…I guess I didn’t want anyone else wanting you either. I wanted you to wait for when the time was right for me to accept you into my life. My plan didn’t go as well as I had hoped, and before I knew it, you weren’t going to wait anymore. You found someone, and you went for it. For awhile I spent many months convincing myself that things were better off that way.”

“I can understand that. When people break up, there are two choices. They can try to be civil and not succumb to spite and all that negativity, or they can cave in because of so much hurt and pain. Usually it takes one person being vindictive and before you know it, the other gets sucked right into it because they are trying to defend themselves. I am thankful that our friends never really took a strong position either way. That says a lot about who they are.”

“You’re right. You were definitely a bigger person than I was.” Tina felt remorse for some of the childish things she had done. She knew she couldn’t go back and fix it, but she could at least set things right now. “I’m sorry that I hurt you Bette. I never intended on doing so, and then when I did do things that hurt you, I guess I just let myself get so deep into believing my version of things, that I was too far to be able to look at those people around me and explain that I was wrong.”

“It does take a big person to do that,” Bette admitted. “…and I think you are doing a great job of it now.”

Tina looked up at Bette. “You are too forgiving.”

“I’m not perfect Tina. If I expect to be forgiven in this life, then I must be able to also forgive too.”

“You are a beautiful person…inside and out.”

Bette smiled and caressed Tina’s hair. “You need to give yourself a little more credit for that as well.”

Tina eased herself up and then placed one leg over Bette’s side so she was now straddling her. “I’ll let you give me some credit when I get done making love to you…how about that?” Tina arched a brow, which only added a little more life to that saucy grin she had formed.

“I think I might like that…”

”Oh I hope you do.” Tina slowly dragged one hand down Bette’s abdomen, feeling the goosebumps form under the finger as she descended to Bette’s pubic bone. She slid one finger between Bette’s lips which was drenched with arousal. When she brought her finger to her mouth, she closed her eyes halfway as she slid it inside. Her tongue pulled every bit from her. “Mmm…fuck…just how I remember you.”

“There is more where that came from,” Bette smiled. “I wouldn’t mind you having a feast.”

“I intend to. But I also intend on making you wait too.” Tina took hold of Bette’s hands and placed them above her head as she kissed her mouth, and took turns dipping her tongue inside and out before moving her mouth to lick and nibble her earlobe. 

“Mmm…your mouth feels wonderful on me.” Bette accepted every delightful tingle that passed through her body with each kiss upon her skin.

Tina lowered her head and began to brush her lips up and down Bette’s neck, lightly dragging them lower…and lower as she licked her way further down, creating a wet path towards Bette’s breast. She lightly blew on that wet path causing Bette to moan slightly. “Mmmm….I missed you so much.”

Tina continued to lightly exhale her warm breath on Bette’s skin, breathing very close to her skin, but not touching her. Bette was beyond aroused. She needed to feel more of Tina in any way possible. Her lips, her mouth, her tongue…anything…but instead, this warm breath continued to wreak chaos. Tina continued to tease Bette, until Bette attempted to pull her hands away from Tina’s that had a strong hold on her. She hoped to pull her head inward towards her breast, for this breathing….this teasing…she could no longer handle. She had to feel her.

Tina looked up as Bette’s hands continued to try and force her where she wanted her. “No” she said as she tightened her grip around Bette’s hands. “No fighting me for control baby.” 

“T…please…I…I need you …I need your mouth on me…I can’t take it” 

“Yes you can. Just lay back and enjoy the need.” 

Bette’s eyes still showed one of pleading as Tina continued to hold her wrists down. Tina lowered her mouth to hers, leisurely. She appreciated the craving and longing in Bette’s eyes. It had been so many years, and she wanted to be sure she made Bette want…REALLY want. As she came closer to Bette’s mouth, her face reflected her ache…her need….her desires. Tina lowered her mouth until it had finally made contact with Bette’s, and with a motive stronger than ever before, she pushed her tongue between Bette’s lips. Their mouths were pressed so firmly against one another, their lips were lost in the channel of each others mouth with their tongues even deeper. As this urgency played out inside their mouths, they both could feel the tight ache and throb that had started between their legs. Their need emerged with a drama as never before from their bodies…..a need to try to reach so deep into one another, in every way imaginable. 

Bette slid her head to the side, for breathing had become almost impossible. Tina continued to please her as she dragged her wet tongue down her neck to Bette’s incredibly stiff nipple that had been waiting much too long for the attention it was demanding. Tina wrapped her mouth around as much of Bette’s breast as possible. With her nipple and areola covered, she worked her mouth on her as she felt Bette arch, pushing her breast even further into her mouth. Tina was sucking fairly hard on much of Bette’s breast while her tongue played with her nipple, circling and circling the rock hard nub. 

She let go of one of Bette’s hands as she slid her fingertips very lightly down Bette’s neck…her breast…her stomach…reaching for the center…which she knew had been yearning, craving her touch, her attention. Bette instantly parted her legs, hoping to accelerate Tina’s mission. Tina released her other hand and massaged Bette’s breast, where she kept it as her other hand slowly slid further, over her short pubic hairs, to the brunette’s wet lips. She slowly slid one finger between them, immediately finding Bette’s swollen clit. She slid her fingers further, finding her drenched with arousal. Her fingers were well lubricated for further action. 

“God you are sooooo wet,” Tina said as she brought her finger back up to Bette’s clit.

“Mm-hmm…ohhhhhhhh…that.” Bette couldn’t finish her sentence, for the sensations that Tina had already started to generate, were so strong, they were taking her breath away.

Tina stroked the brunettes enlarged clit between her   
fingers…circling…rubbing…creating just the right rhythm and pressure that she knew Bette had always responded favorably too. 

“MMmmm…oh…God…T…please…mmmppphhh…I need you…mmmm… inside me,” Bette said as her hips struggled against Tina’s hand.

Tina continued to manipulate Bette’s clit, which drew an even further reaction by Bette, who was now thrusting her hips up into Tina’s hand and body. Tina never released her rhythm as she journeyed lower. Her mouth was making its way south…kissing and tasting Bette’s stomach...nibbling as she made a perfect swap between her fingers and tongue for dominance over the brunette’s pleasure zone. As her mouth took over, her fingers slid lower and ultimately inside. She thrust her fingers inside deep, feeling the silky and soft walls of Bette’s pussy. Her fingers immediately were surrounded by warm liquid as she continued to thrust them in and out of her, knowing that at that moment, she had Bette completely. 

Tina continued to suck and taste the secretions that encompassed Bette’s center as she felt the walls begin to get tighter around her fingers which were now manipulating Bette’s G-spot as well. As her fingers became more difficult to move, she knew what she was feeling, not to mention the number of references to God, that Bette was climaxing and close to having the impending orgasm rip through her body.

“Ohhh…right…fuck me…ohhh yessss!” Bette’s insides clamped down hard around Tina’s fingers, so hard that even the lubrication wasn’t enough to keep them moving inside of her. She kept them still as Bette orgasmed with incredible energy and force. “ Ohhhhh…Ohhhh Goodddd...TEEEEE…” Her screams of passion almost sounding painful as she rode out the orgasm.

Tina was probably just as satisfied as Bette at that moment. To hear Bette’s words of ecstasy come from her mouth as she was climaxing was a song to her ears. She took her time licking and tasting as much of what Bette as possible. This intimacy, this closeness to a place that she used to know so well was sentimental. Tina appreciated this opportunity. Though it may never lead to anything more, the fact that she and Bette shared their bodies after ten years, and did so with such deep feelings for one another, made her feel privileged, happy, and loved. Yes, Tina felt a love that she wasn’t able to find in years. She wished she could not only savor this moment, but this woman herself.

“Tee…come….here…” Bette’s breaths were slowing. Her heart was racing when Tina slid up her body. As their bodies compressed, they could feel the heat and sweat that formed, which was making their skin stick together.

“Hi,” Tina said smiling as she looked at the stunning brunette, whose face clearly showed she was in a state of post orgasm bliss.

“That was…fucking mind blowing.”

“Good…I’m glad you enjoyed it. You were so worked up from making love to me that I   
knew it wasn’t going to take you long.”

”You are so right. Not to mention I have been so incredibly fucking horny since I saw you walk into Kit’s house yesterday.”

Tina smirked. “You were?”

”Of course I was. Tina, you are stunning. Not to mention that skirt…my god it just shaped your ass and was asking for my attention.”

Tina felt herself start to blush. “My god, that wasn’t my intent.”

Bette started to laugh hard. “Of course it was. Come on, admit it. I’m sure that there was that teeny part that just wanted me to crave you.”

Tina smiled wide, knowing she was bagged. “Okay, maybe just a little bit.”

“I know…I was mindful of what I was wearing too.”

”You dog you,” Tina said as she playfully nudged Bette.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have enjoyed this story. This is the final chapter of this short fan fic, and as I said previously, it is one of my favorite's as it includes my favorite holiday. May we always have hope and never lose our ability to believe. ~ Chicki

CHAPTER 11

“What do you suppose is going on?” Dana asked as she put the box of Chinese food on the table.

“I thought we weren’t going to take bets?” Alice remarked.

“I’m not, I’m just wondering.”

“They did it…I’m sure of it,” Shane offered as she reached for a stick of beef teriyaki.

“Who wants a drink while I’m up?” Kit asked.

“I’ll take a Corona,” Shane replied.

“All set here,” Dana answered while Alice raised a hand indicating she was fine too.

“I have to agree with Shane. There is NO way that Bette stayed overnight without being in Tina’s bed with her.”

“Well, if they did do it, I hope it was good enough to make Bette come home,” Kit laughed. “That girl needs to get some home style booty and then maybe we will have her back here with us.”

“I doubt it.” Dana was the first to play the ‘realist’ in this conversation. “Bette is so integrated into the New York life. I really don’t see her moving back here.”

“Damn girl, couldn’t you have let me dream a little longer?”

”Sorry,” Dana said softly.

“Dane, Porter will move for the right hooch. She did it before. She moved to New York for Jodi, and that was just…well…just Jodi.”

”Yes, but Bette wasn’t really grounded here anymore. You couldn’t compare her job as a Dean to what she is now. Didn’t you hear what she said at Tina’s? She has been asked to consider serving on the board for Sotheby’s. Her background and experience is an asset, and you are not going to see her afforded those type of opportunities here.”

Everyone started to settle on Bette probably not moving back to Los Angeles.

“Fuck, that means we lose Tina too!” Alice exclaimed. “Now wouldn’t that just blow my whole plan. I wanted them to be back together HERE.” Alice was visibly upset to think that her plan of reuniting Bette and Tina could actually result in the gang losing Tina too.

“It isn’t like we have all been hanging out that much Al,” Dana added.

“I know, but…well you know what it’s like. Sometimes you may not hang out a lot but you still know the person is a short drive away. I guess having the chance to be all together like we were yesterday was so much fun, that I was getting really excited at the idea that we could all see our group get back together.”

“It’s their life to live. Would you rather see them separated, and still have Tina here? Or would you rather see them together and completely in love and having the time of their life, knowing they will both come back to visit?” Shane’s question was a hard one. “For me, I personally would like to see them both happy and in love with one another…no matter where that takes them.”

“I have to agree with Shane. I guess it is sad, but I have gotten use to not seeing Bette. Don’t get me wrong, I would love for her to come back here to live. However, if she isn’t, then I would much rather know that Tina is in her life and making her happy. Dana also had a point, how often did we all keep in touch anyway? We were so bad about that.”

”Well let’s not be,” Alice said firmly. “Let’s make a promise, here and now, that no matter what happens with Bette and Tina, that who ever is left living here will at least make it a point to get together once a month for dinner.”

“That sounds like a great idea babe,” Dana said as she raised her glass. “I’m in.”

“You don’t have much of a choice,” Alice joked.

“I’m in too,” Shane said as she raised her bottle of Corona.

Everyone looked at Kit. “Oh hell you know I’m in!” 

The girls all took turns letting their drinks touch the others, binding their promise.

“Let’s hope they don’t stop by Kit’s, we will all be in a world of shit if they knew we lied.” Alice chuckled. “I mean, I could see Porter now…I wouldn’t live it down.”

”You? What about me? As a matter of fact, I better call David. I never know with him. He may try calling her cell phone and wish her a Merry Christmas or something.”

”Oh shit, you’re right. I hope they don’t call to see how Dana is doing.”

Dana raised her brows. “Eeeek!” 

”Yeah, eek is right.”

#

Tina put the oven on to preheat it, then put the small television on that she had mounted in the corner. “Babe, I have two different things I can cook up.” Tina opened the fridge while Bette came up behind her and slid her hands around her waist which caused Tina to shudder from such an unexpected touch. “Hey tiger, I think we need to get some food in us. You will need to be on the road soon.”

“You know, why don’t we either go out to dinner, or get something to take home,” Bette suggested.

Tina turned around. “Why?”

“Tee, it’s crazy to cook a big dinner for just us. Why go through all that work?”

”I don’t mind. I always liked cooking for you.”

”I know you have. I just…well I would much rather see you also relax on this holiday.” Before Tina could answer, Bette’s eyes were drawn towards the television. “Great.”

Tina turned her head. “What?”

Bette walked over to the television and raised the volume. Both she and Tina listened to the weather report. “It looks like they are expecting a horrible snowstorm, right around the time I would be landing in New York. Damn it!”

“Well, could you stay an extra day? I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it,” Tina happily offered.

Bette turned back towards Tina. That idea was sure hard to dismiss. “I would have really enjoyed being able to do that, but I have a really important meeting with the Sotheby’s board. I just can’t miss that. I’ll have to get on an earlier flight.”

Tina was extremely disappointed, and her expression revealed all of it. Bette placed her hand on Tina’s back and rubbed it. “I’m sorry Tee. I would have loved to spend the day or even the night.”

”Is there any chance you could try to get on a real early flight tomorrow morning?” Tina was pulling for any chance that she and Bette could be together longer. She had not prepared for her departure this soon.

“With the time difference, I would have to try to find a flight that leaves around 3am. I don’t see that happening.” Bette could see the regret in Tina’s face. “Trust me, I wish this wasn’t happening either. That’s the big difference I guess between the east and west coasts in the winter. The weather can be so unpredictable there…something we never had to worry about here.”

Tina leaned against the counter while Bette started to make some phone calls concerning an earlier flight. She waited until she heard Bette confirm she could get on an earlier one, then walked over to her and slipped her arms around her. Bette placed her arms around Tina, and they both embraced. “I don’t want to let you go again,” Tina whispered as her eyes filled with tears. 

Bette closed her eyes tight. She felt the same. However, they were both so settled where they were. She didn’t honestly see herself moving back to Los Angeles, and though she and Tina had not discussed the possibility of her moving to New York, she wasn’t sure if that would be an option. Heck, it was less than 24 hours earlier that she had arrived only for a holiday visit with no intention of discussing geographical moves. But now, now that they made love and reconnected so deeply, Bette’s heart was in equal turmoil. “I know…this is harder than I thought it would ever be.”

They released their embrace and stared at one another for a long time. “We certainly have quite a connection,” Tina said as she pushed a strand of hair away from Bette’s face, trying hard not to let any tears escape from the eyelids that contained them.

“We do. After ten years, we can still do it for one another. That says a lot.”

“It does.” Tina picked a piece of lint from Bette’s sweater. “I guess you need to get your stuff. I can take you to the airport.”

“Tina…as much as I would love that. I don’t want to have to worry about you driving back home, in an emotional state.”

”Who said I would be emotional?” Tina’s nose had already turned red from the emotions she was trying so hard to contain. She never needed the tears to stream down her face to make her nose turn color. It did so whenever she was crying inside.

Bette pointed to her own nose then towards her. “Some things never change,” she said softly.

“Do you want me to call you a taxi?”

”That would be great. By the time he gets here, I’ll have my things together.”

While Bette went into the other room to get her things packed, Tina called the taxi company, then logged onto the internet to check the weather. Once she was through checking the weather, she then opened her email, and in there was a message from Bette. She clicked on it, and found an e-card with a link to a gift certificate to the Barnes and Noble site. “Merry Christmas to the blonde that always held the key to my heart.” It was an appropriate gift for a writer and avid reader. She smiled at the thought that they had both had the same idea, though her gift certificate was to one of the common Art stores, Bette would likely find that electronic certificate once she had gotten home. She stared at the computer screen with a number of thoughts going through her mind. It was less than 24 hours since Bette had arrived, but she had filled Tina’s home with such warmth and life, that she couldn’t imagine how cold, empty and still it would all feel once Bette left. She reached for a tissue on her desk and wiped away the stray tears that fell onto her cheeks. She told herself that she had to be strong. She didn’t want Bette making that trip back to New York in a state of upset. Although, the truth was, she probably was going to be anyway.

“I think I have everything,” Bette said while standing in the doorway to Tina’s room.

“Okay…I’ll be out in a minute.” Tina wanted to compose herself a little bit before she faced the woman she had fallen in love with all over again. Bette knew Tina was feeling emotional. She herself needed to take that same minute or two in the other room while she was packing.

The sound of the horn outside startled both of them. “Fuck, they are never on time, at least in New York they aren’t,” Bette complained.

Tina stood from the chair to find Bette in the doorway, standing there with her bag. “Will you call me, and let me know when you are home safe?”

“I will,” Bette said solemnly.

Bette and Tina hugged one another tight. Neither of them wanted to let go. It had taken ten years to be in the company of one another, and in less than 24 hours, they had a reconnection that most would have thought impossible. As they released their embrace, Tina pulled something from her pocket. “Here…I want you to hold onto this.” She handed Bette the note that she had written ten years earlier when she was on that Denver trip and in the middle of a snowstorm. 

“Tee, I couldn’t…it’s from your memory box.”

“I know…but it’s ‘our’ memories…a reminder of us.”

Bette opened the note and glanced at it quickly, catching the last few lines. 

I’m confident, that wherever I may travel, when the snow falls, the warmth of you, and our love, will warm my body, soul, and spirit forever. Always… when the snow falls.

At the sound of the driver’s impatient horn again, Bette quickly folded the note and placed it in her jacket pocket.

Tina grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips. “Go…before he leaves and you miss your flight. Have a safe trip.”

“I will. I’ll call you.”

Tina stood on the step and watched as Bette quickly rushed down the steps to the taxi. She turned and kissed the palm of her hand and blew it to Tina. “It looks like snow here too!” Bette said as she looked up at the unusually gray California sky.

“Never! It’s southern California remember?” Tina shouted back as her eyelids not longer could contain her tears.

Bette shrugged. “You never know.” She closed the back door of the taxi and turned around, watching Tina become smaller as they both waved to one another. The tears ran down her face as she struggled to get a tissue from her purse.

Tina went into the house and closed the door behind her. She leaned back against it, and slowly slid to the floor in tears. Until she had to once again say goodbye, did she realize how much she couldn’t live without Bette in her life. It wasn’t even a choice anymore, it was a requirement.

#

After a few minutes, Bette knew she needed to engage in some light conversation to help interrupt her pain. “It got pretty cold since yesterday,” Bette said to the driver.

“Yep.”

“I’m traveling from New York. If I didn’t know any better, I would think it was going to actually snow here,” Bette said as she looked out the window of the taxi.

“Nah, only if hell were to freeze over.”

Bette laughed. “You’re probably right.”

Bette reached into her pocket to retrieve her cell phone which had vibrated, indicating an incoming text. She opened the phone and read a message from Tina. 

**I luv u. I don’t know why I couldn’t find the courage 2 tell u. I don’t think I can live without u.**

Bette felt her eyes fill up. She loved Tina too, and just like her, didn’t have the courage to verbalize all the love in her heart she felt. She typed back.

**I luv u 2. I’ll always luv u. I miss u like crazy already.**

Bette sent the text and then unfolded the note that Tina had given her. She read the words that she had written years earlier.

_My Dearest Tina,_

_I felt compelled to write you this note as I travel to yet another conference, this time by train. These business trips which force me from your side, makes me ache for you. When I see the beauty of the landscape and scenery of this place, it makes me wish even more, that you were here with me. The beauty of Denver is something you must experience, particularly when it snows. Oh, what we lack in terms of seasons like this Tee. The purity of the virgin snow as it falls, is something that should grace us each and every year. I’m not sure why, but when I see this, the snow falling, I cannot help but feel you near. Perhaps it reminds me of the weekend in Vermont, the time it snowed and we made love all weekend in front of the fireplace. I’m not sure either of us ever put a thread of clothing on our bodies. I’m confident, that wherever I may travel, when the snow falls, the warmth of you, and our love, will warm my body, soul, and spirit forever. Always… when the snow falls._

_All my love,  
Bette _

As a couple of tears once again escaped from the confines of her eyelid, the taxi driver had startled her.

“Well I’ll be damned! They’re small…those flakes… but it’s snowing!”

Bette looked outside, and there it was…the snow was falling. She looked to the California sky, and in her entire life she had never witnessed snow falling in this part of the state. She glanced back down at the note and those precise words…Always…when the snow falls... “Stop the car.”

“What?”

”I said…stop the car.”

#

Tina had stared at the text message from Bette for the longest time. She stood from the sofa and hit the switch on the fireplace. As she did, she glanced outside. Her eyes widened. “Oh my god, it…it couldn’t be.” She pushed the curtain further and stared at the snowflakes that were falling to the ground. Her thoughts immediately went to the contents of the note as she repeated them out loud, “When the snow falls.” She grabbed her cell phone and called Bette, but the phone had gone to voicemail. She flipped it shut. What was she meant to say anyway? It was snowing. It was a freak occurrence, but other than that, Bette would think she was crazy by making it appear to be a sign of some sorts….though in Tina’s mind and heart, it was just that. Her cell phone had sounded, signaling a text message. She flipped her phone open, and as she read the words, her eyes filled with tears once more. 

_When the snow falls, the warmth of you, and our love, will warm my body, soul, and spirit forever_

When Tina lifted her eyes from the cell phone and looked out the window, it was then she saw the taxi making its way down her road. She ran to the front door, and just as she opened it, Bette had thrown open the back door of the car and started running towards the front steps. Tina met her halfway, and in the middle of one of the strangest occurrences to have happened in L.A, they embraced one another tight as the snowflakes turned their hair white.

“I can’t go…I just can’t go back without you,” Bette said frantically.

“I know…I can’t let you leave either.”

“What are we going to do?” Bette asked.

Tina grabbed hold of Bette’s face. “I know you might think this is just a reaction, but…but it isn’t Bette. I realized now, after all these years, that I can’t be without you anymore. You are it. You are my everything. We may not have the most perfect past. We may have both made a world of mistakes, but I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved another person in my entire life. I want that back. I want all of it again. I want to go to bed with you at night, and wake up to you first thing in the morning.”

“Oh Tee…I want that too. If it…if it means that I have to walk away from everything back east, then I’ll do it.”

”No…no I couldn’t have you do that. I’m a writer Bette. What I possess can come with me anywhere I go. There are publishers everywhere, and that too would easily follow. I don’t have any family here. Friends of course - great friends at that…but…still…I don’t have the foundation that you have there in New York.”

“You would move to New York?”

”I sure as hell would. I have lived here for the past ten years trying hard to find what I had back then. The truth is, I can live here for another ten or twenty and never get that. I know it now. It took me being away from you, and trying to find it with other women to know that what I had was a once in a lifetime deal. There isn’t a book deal in the world that could come close to the deal I would have spending my life with you.”

As the taxi driver watched on, he wiped a tear from his eye before interrupting to ask Bette what she wanted to do with her bag.

“Um…you can take it inside.”

“Inside?” Tina asked.

”Yes.”

”But what about your meeting?”

”I don’t care about the damn meeting. If they truly want me on that board, then they will just have to reschedule it. I’m just not available tomorrow…maybe not the day after either.”

“Are you sure that is what you want to do?”

”I’m sure. I’ll have to eventually fly back once the storm clears, but until then…you and I have a lot of things to talk about.”

“We do.”

Bette quickly handed the taxi driver a generous tip before he walked back to the car and left them both outside.

“I love you so much Tee.”

”I love you more baby.”

”No, that’s not possible.”

”Oh…it sure is.”

Tina took hold of Bette’s hand and led her back into the warmth and love of the home she had made. It was a complete home now, for it had all the makings of what she needed. A cozy house which was filled with an abundance of love. No matter where life would find her, she knew that as long as she was with Bette, she would feel complete, and that wherever it was, it would be home. Home wasn’t about geography. It wasn’t about square footage. It definitely wasn’t about all the material things you could put inside. Home was where your heart was. With Tina’s heart settled on Bette Porter, her home would be in New York City, and without any reservation, she would abandon the life that she had known, to join the love of her life.

“When the snow falls…I couldn’t have said it any better than I did over a decade ago,” Bette said softly as she rested her hands on Tina’s hips.

Tina wrapped her arms around Bette’s neck. “It was so appropriate, and so amazing how it just came full circle. It’s funny how life can do that sometimes.”

“It sure is. I have so many blessings to be thankful for.”

”Me too…and the falling snow is on top of my list.”

Bette smiled before leaning in and meeting Tina halfway as they brought their lips together. With the fire burning, the tree lights sparkling, and the snow falling outside, it turned out to be one of the best Christmas’s ever.

#

“Well…my sister is probably in the air right about now,” Kit said as she glanced down at her watch. “I guess the coast is clear.”

“I bet Tina is feeling pretty sad right about now,” Dana said.

“I’m sure.”

“Maybe we should bring some food over,” Alice suggested.

“And get bagged by Tina? I don’t think so. Remember, she still thinks we all had our own plans, with Kit and I flying out somewhere” Shane looked outside and couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She knew she hadn’t drank too much yet. “Damn, it’s snowing out.”

”What?” - “No Way” - “Wow” Everyone said in unison as they looked out the living room window.

“I hope Bette’s flight is okay,” Kit said.

“It depends if it is snowing where she is headed. Anyone hear anything about the weather there?”

Shane called it up on her phone. “Looks like they are expecting some pretty bad snow.”

“God you have that shit on your phone?”

Shane glared at Alice. “Yes I do. I like knowing what’s going on.”

”It’s not like you travel much.”

”It doesn’t matter. Janis does a lot of traveling smart ass.”

“Okay girls…settle down,” Kit said. “I’ll call Bette a little later and make sure she was able to get home okay. I hate when it snows on the east coast and she is traveling.”

#

Bette and Tina were cuddled on the couch waiting for their pizza to be delivered. 

“I sure hope everyone was able to get to where they were going okay today,” Tina said.

“I know. As it turned out, it wasn’t the best day for most people to be traveling.”

“They are probably going to be concerned about you too.”

”Maybe.”

“Maybe? Of course they are. I almost feel a little guilty that you are nice and safe here, while they are probably watching the weather and getting worried, just as we are about them. We’ll have to call them later.”

”We will.”

While everyone thought that everyone else was traveling, little did they all know that they were all safe and sound and only minutes away from one another. 

Christmas was a splendid and generous time of the year. People were more willing to openly share their feelings and love for each other than any other time. It was a time that forced some to make those plans they kept putting off, to visit those that were very important to them. Time had a way of slipping by fast, and from year to year you could have the best intentions of making a few wrongs right, and putting some things behind to move forward in a healthy and happy way. Bette would never regret having taken the invitation to come back home for Christmas. In fact, it ended up being one of the best decisions she had made for years to come. It had taken ten years, but both Bette and Tina learned a hard but valuable lesson, about those things they could live “with” and those things which they couldn’t live “without,” and for once in their lives, they were able to let love be the star that guided them back together for that exceptional December holiday.

**~ THE END ~**

**© 2007 Chicki**

**Disclaimer:  
This Fan Fiction posting contains fictitious characters and a fictitious storyline. Most characters belong to Ilene Chaiken and Showtime Television. Readers must not modify, copy/plagiarize, disseminate, or take action in reliance upon it, unless permitted by the said author of this Fan Fiction posting. None of the materials provided on this Fan Fiction posting may be used, reproduced or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including the use of any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from author.**


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